


But I Can Hide It When I'm All Dressed Up

by alittlebitcloser



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Newsroom AU, POV Alternating, Workplace Romance, idiots to lovers, news dykes, newsroom lesbians amirite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlebitcloser/pseuds/alittlebitcloser
Summary: “Oh, and one more thing!” Michelled chastised herself, as if she had almost forgotten whatever she was about to say. Jackie assumed that this was simply for dramatic effect, as Michelle never seemed to forget anything. “We have a new face joining the team and I’d like you all to give her a warm welcome. This is Jan Mantione, she’ll be taking over the afternoon and the six o’clock weather slots since we had Alexis leave us. She’s a Jersey girl like me so be nice!”****Jackie Cox is a successful news anchor who is strict about the fact she will not partake in any sort of workplace fling. That is until the new weathergirl threatens to test her resolve.
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Comments: 123
Kudos: 132





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi hi! I'm back and once again this is super different from the other things I've written but still with my favourite girls!
> 
> I've tried new things with my writing here like alternating POV because oooh she's a woman who can challenge herself and I'm excited by how quickly I'm managing to write this/how much fun I'm having with it! This may be a slower burn than what you're used to from me. ;)
> 
> Please enjoy it!! Come chat on Tumblr @alittle-bitcloser as always!

Jackie Cox made an effort to arrive everywhere early, she always had.

Classes, parties, you name it. 

So, of course, the daily newsroom staff meeting was no different. As someone who was happily settled in her ways, Jackie liked to have her tea (usually jasmine green) and her iPad sat neatly in front of her as she watched other members of the team trickle in. People sat in dribs and drabs as they waited for Michelle to kick everything off. Around a minute before the meeting was due to start, as expected, Chelsea plonked herself down into the seat beside Jackie. Before Jackie could even greet her, Chelsea was nudging her and breaking her pain au chocolat in half so that they could share. It left a sticky, chocolatey residue on the tips of Jackie's fingers and she spotted the handful of napkins that came with the pastry gratefully.

Jackie and Chelsea started on the channel around the same time. Fresh faced and brandishing degrees in journalism, they’d done some severely underpaid internships and were finally hired, ready to work their way up to the top. They had gravitated towards each other almost immediately, always producing the best work when the other had encouraged them in the right direction whilst doing their research- it also helped that they laughed through anything they did together. It didn’t take long for the producers to pick up on their chemistry. Fast forward, and now they proudly flaunted the title of the only all-female anchor team on any New York City news station. After some hellish early mornings to start with, they finally got the slot they wanted and were planted straight onto six o’clock. People were finishing work; they were settling down with the safe knowledge that they could trust the quick-witted women onscreen. Chelsea and Jackie thrived, as their blinding smiles and clever jabs gained them more viewers by the day.

It was a welcome bonus when Chelsea became her best friend off-screen too. 

The start of the daily staff meeting was always signalled by the familiar clacking of Michelle’s acrylic nails against the table of the conference room, and today was no different. Michelle was a no-nonsense kind of woman and Jackie appreciated that about her. Jackie had only been on the receiving end of her condescending finger wag a couple of times, and that was only when she wasn’t quite hitting the mark with her on-air style just yet. Being a woman on television could be exhausting and there wasn't time for even a hair to be out of place. Jackie had immediately impressed Michelle, however, when she had simply nodded with a confident “you got it, Michelle”, and took her advice with no questions asked.

Michelle liked her attitude, and Jackie reckoned that where she sat today had a lot to do with that.

Michelle ran every meeting like clockwork. She began by greeting the team and recapping the morning broadcasts (Jackie was endlessly grateful that her anchor slot didn’t include the burden of a two in the morning wake up). Then, she would brief the correspondents and producers on any research they were to do, and everyone was assigned their stories for the day. As always, her instructions were met with swift nods and the sounds of nails clicking against iPads and keyboards. It was only ever Willam, the snarky blonde from showbiz who had skated on thin ice one too many times, who ever insisted on hitting Michelle back with sardonic rebuttals in these meetings. 

Jackie eyed Willam and Courtney who were bunched up in the corner like giggling schoolgirls. She registered how Courtney smacked her pink lips as she tapped away at her iPad while Willam simply snickered and muttered into her ear. As well as being impossibly sweet, Jackie reckoned that Courtney must have the patient of a saint to deal with that one. 

“Oh, and one more thing!” Michelled chastised herself, as if she had almost forgotten whatever she was about to say. Jackie assumed that this was simply for dramatic effect, as Michelle never seemed to forget anything. “We have a new face joining the team and I’d like you all to give her a warm welcome. This is Jan Mantione, she’ll be taking over the afternoon _and_ the six o’clock weather slots since we've had Alexis leave us. She’s a Jersey girl like me so be nice!” 

There was a weak chorus of greetings from the team who hadn’t quite gained the boost from their morning coffees yet despite the littering of Starbucks cups all over the conference table. Jackie was distracted from this, however, by the bright and enthusiastic blonde in a soft lilac pencil skirt and a delicate white blouse; she stepped up from where she had been leaning against the wall, where she had been tucked away behind Michelle. Her - Jan's - make-up was immaculate, and Jackie felt certain that her smile was absolutely made for television. If she wasn’t in the studio with her, she knew she’d be content to tune in night after night just to see that. 

Michelle immediately chided the team for their pathetic effort at a hello, ordering them to give her a goddamn round of applause for scoring a job that was so sought after, and Jackie had to hold back a bemused sound when Jan took a literal _curtsey_ in response to the clapping. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, clearly enjoying the audience. 

“I’m so excited to be here! Like, it’s the six o’clock news! How fun!” Jan gushed giddily, clapping her hands together and beaming. She seemed to scan the room, clocking who accepted her enthusiasm well and who was immediately turned off by it. It was calculated and swift, but Jackie caught it. 

Jackie was staring, and she was self-aware enough to know she should probably stop. Jan’s gleaming brown eyes and glossy lips were a welcome shine in a place that had perhaps needed a shake up for a while now, and Jackie’s brow furrowed at the emergence of whispers behind her. Jan seemed newer to the game and had received a coveted spot immediately, one usually awarded to those working their way up. Jackie knew this wouldn’t sit well with everyone, but she had trust in Michelle’s judgement, and figured Jan must be the best woman for the job. 

The meeting was quickly over with a snap of Michelle’s fingers, but Jackie didn’t stand right away. She bit a little piece of her pastry, trying to subtly watch Jan as she chatted animatedly at Jaida, the no nonsense business correspondent who never failed to tell you what’s what. Jackie tucked a short lock of her immaculately styled hair behind her ear, not realising that she was biting her lip as Jan turned to give her a view of-

“Oh, I forecast a wet, _wet_ day ahead.” Chelsea’s teasing tone shattered her reverie, and she was looking at Jackie intently with a triumphant smirk on her face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-“ Jackie replied nonchalantly, snapping her head around to meet Chelsea’s eye with a shrug of feigned innocence. It took everything not to curse Chelsea, however, when Jackie looked around once again to find that the sight of Jan’s ass being so well hugged by her pencil skirt was no longer there. 

“- New York is in a heatwave.” Jackie finished, swiftly standing up and brushing herself down of any remnants of pastry before picking up her iPad and flask.

“Yeah, I saw you sweating when Little Miss Manhattan 2020 over there literally curtsied.” Chelsea snorted and stood with Jackie, letting her lead the way through the glass door to the myriad of desks.

“The air con is broken; they should really get to that.” Jackie remarked with a tut as she walked, looking decidedly straight ahead even when she could hear Jan’s shrill voice to her left. She dared herself to glance over and chickened out.

The flack she would get from Chelsea wasn’t worth the risk. 

“I don’t know why you’re being so precious about it.” Chelsea told her once they took their seats, scoffing the last bit of her croissant as she did. “If you think she’s cute, go talk to her.”

“Even if I do think she’s cute, which I am _not_ confirming nor denying…” Jackie gestured at Chelsea, playfully yet pointedly, ever the journalist with her carefully chosen words. “Mixing business with pleasure is a bad cocktail. That’s a recipe for a hangover and I won’t do it.”

“Live a little, Jacqueline.” Chelsea did a ridiculous little jig with her shoulders and nudged her, but quickly gave up when she realised Jackie wasn’t in the mood to play games. She swiftly turned to purse her lips at the notes she had made when Michelle was speaking, and Jackie knew this was her chance to get them back on track for the day ahead. 

“Anyway, duty calls. We’ve gotta talk to Bob about whatever bullshit Trump’s spouting now and then to Nicky about the whole Brexit fiasco. Politics, politics, politics.” Jackie sped ahead and Chelsea was keeping up, seeming content to stop bothering her for now. 

“Nicky _hates_ it. It’s all she’s getting to talk about right now and I think remaining impartial is a little harder than she thought it would be. What else you got so far?”

Jackie and Chelsea were like a well-oiled machine, and the cogs of their minds turned in tandem. Some days, Jackie was hard pressed in believing they didn’t actually share a brain. They would record small stories together to be used throughout the day, write and research ready for the evening, and at six o’clock they were ready to go live. Michelle described the news as a train, it was her favourite analogy to use again and again. She said that whether you’re there or not, the train leaves at six and you have to make sure you’re on it with everything you need.

“Miss Chelsea, Miss Jacqueline-“ Bob popped her head up over the dividers between their desks, a scheming grin on her face, the broad shoulders of her slick houndstooth blazer visible. “So, what do you think of the new girl?”

“Why, Miss Roberta, I think that’s a question for _her._ ” Chelsea earned herself a kick in the shin for that comment, and Jackie received a glare in response. She merely shrugged.

Bob’s eyes were sparkling, the cat who got the cream, her gaze intent on Jackie. She was probably the only person Bob had never had any shit on, the golden girl of the newsroom, so Jackie was entirely unsurprised that she looked excited to hear more about what she would no doubt assume was a sordid workplace affair.

“Oh? You got your sights set on blondie?”

As much as Willam liked to think that she was queen of the rumour mill around the office, Bob was the real deal. As the political correspondent she’d gone viral several times for the way she ripped Republicans to shreds, relentless in her questioning. Jackie ate it up, soaking up any tactics she could for her own interviews. With her co-workers, Bob was just as clever and cutting, seeming to somehow know everything about everyone. She was statuesque and sharp-tongued, and when she roared with laughter you couldn’t help joining in.

“Absolutely not, I just think she seems nice.” Jackie reasoned in the most neutral way she could, rolling her eyes and reinforcing her point by gesticulating with the black biro in her hand. “Anyway, we’ll see if she’s any good when six o’clock rolls round, won’t we?”

Jackie made quick work of excusing herself, muttering something about a snack as she headed towards the staff kitchen. It was a pathetic excuse for one, a couple of couches with a fridge, toaster and microwave, but it did the job. Hardly anyone ever used it, so Jackie enjoyed the quiet moments she could salvage in there. Jackie’s need for a peaceful minute to herself hadn’t quite made news around the office however, as she ran straight into Jan and Jaida. Well, more accurately, she heard Jan’s voice from down the hall before she walked in.

Jackie gave the two women a small nod and a kind smile, determined to grab her grapes and get straight out of there, but her curiosities about Jan were getting the better of her. She tuned into their conversation as she slowly decanted her fruit into a small bowl.

“Jan? Coffee?” Jaida offered, probably already on her third cup of the day.

“Not for me! I’m literally the human embodiment of one too many espresso shots.” Jan responded cheerfully, and Jackie wondered if she ever didn’t sound like she was having the best day of her life. “I tend to like my coffee how I like my men.”

“Oh? And how’s that?” Jaida questioned, clearly enjoying her perpetual peppiness. 

“I don’t.” Jan deadpanned, and there was a beat before she collapsed in high throaty giggles at her own joke.

In an effort not to react, Jackie failed tremendously. She knocked over the porcelain bowl, causing it to create an obnoxious clang against the sink as her grapes tumbled onto the floor. Jan made a small squeak of surprise, and Jackie let out a high nervous laugh that made her voice break as she apologised profusely, hurriedly picking up a few grapes from the floor to pop into the bin. 

“Jackie, ya’ll tryna kill the new girl?” Jaida huffed a sound of amusement, stealing a grape from Jackie’s original bunch and popping it into her mouth. 

“Of course not! It was an accident…” Jackie trailed off, plastering on a smile to shoot at them both before she deftly topped up the rather sad bowl of grapes and shoved the rest back into the fridge. She knew that she probably seemed a little unhinged right now, but Jan’s admission was running a mile a minute through her mind and she needed time to process it. 

“Oh, it’s so fine! Jackie, right?” Jan was friendly, and her handshake was soft like the way a feather would weightlessly fall into your hand. “I mean, look at me pretending I don’t even know when I literally watch you on the news every night. Of course you’re Jackie!"

“And you’re Jan.” Jackie thanked whoever was up there watching over her, because her voice came out confident and unshaken. “You’re gonna be the one to watch now.”

Jan’s giggle was polyphonic. There were different tones to it that endeared Jackie to no end, and the way they combined was nothing short of a harmonic melody. 

“Why, thank you,” Jan flipped her hair over her shoulder, looking pleased, and Jackie could swear she heard Jaida mutter something under her breath. “I’ll see you out there!”

Jaida gave Jackie a brief wink before following Jan out, coffee tight in her hand and a smirk on her face. Jackie could feel her cheeks burning, they were scorched as if she’d been in the boiling hot sun all day long. Jan liked her coffee the way she liked her men…She didn’t. She didn’t like coffee _and_ she didn’t like men. Jackie would be lying if she hadn’t thought she’d been harbouring a crush on a straight woman, and mentally berated herself for making such an assumption.

Jackie began to nervously run her fingers through her hair before remembering that her curls weren’t natural and bouncy right now, that she had styled them in such a way that people would apparently find ‘professional, presentable and pretty’. Her hands dropped limply to her sides as soon as she remembered. She detoured to the bathroom, wanting to make sure that Michelle couldn’t nitpick at her appearance as she checked herself over in the mirror and fixed the parting of her dark hair. The misogynistic bullshit that broke through this line of work was sometimes enough to make Jackie roll her eyes so hard that she wouldn’t be shocked if she managed to sprain them one day soon. She could just about sit through Michelle’s critiques, knowing that she was only parroting the standards of those higher than her. 

The one thing Jackie couldn’t stand was when the higher ups themselves paid a visit. 

Mr Charles would leave his uptown office every once in a blue moon, traipsing downtown in a fancy car to grace everyone with his presence. Whether it was teeth, hair, or even tits, there was always a comment. Always something. Jackie gritted her teeth and mustered up a sweet smile for the sake of her job every time, because she really did love most other things about it. 

“Okay…” Jackie straightened the lapels of her deep blue blazer and adjusted her necklace. “Good.”

After giving herself a tiny nod in the mirror, Jackie left the bathroom swiftly, heels clacking against marble. Her bowl of grapes sat forgotten in the kitchen, because that space in her mind had busied itself with what she'd heard of Jan’s preferences.

****

Jackie and Chelsea sat ready at the newsdesk, the countdown looming over them. Their branded mugs were in place, and Chelsea quickly warned Jackie of some lipstick on her teeth to which she nodded gratefully with a small smile for her friend. In return, Jackie straightened Chelsea’s collar before peeking down at the shot sheet on her iPad that instructed her exactly what camera to look at and when. When she had first done this, it was utterly overwhelming, and afterwards she’d sobbed over the fact she had messily stuttered her way through every interview, but now it was second nature. Jackie loved this part of her work and, apparently, the viewers loved Jackie right back. The adoration she and Chelsea received on social media was a testament to how the public embraced them, and Jackie was always a little taken aback by it. 

Ever since their encounter in the kitchen, Jackie had been silently observing Jan all day. Taking chances to pass her in the office, use the photocopier closest to her (close enough that she could spot the glittery gel pens on her desk). From what Jackie could tell, Jan was a bit of a tornado. The way she would breeze in and out, loud and haphazard as she did, made Jackie anxious for what she could be like on the air. She found herself rooting for her, hoping that she’d prove a few of the shit talkers wrong. 

“And now over to a new face, it’s Jan with the weather.” Jackie beamed at the appropriate camera with a small nod, holding her breath to see the new girl in action, unsure why it mattered so much to her. 

When Jan thanked her it was easy and bright, rather like the forecast itself. She was a natural.

She guided the viewers - and the rest of the office who were watching intently, some of them probably hoping for a fuck up - through the following twenty four hours with an effortless charm and a blinding smile to go along with it. Even when she delivered the rather irritating news that the humid heatwave in Manhattan wasn’t about to let up anytime soon, her advice to drink plenty of water paired with her high chortle whenever she made a pun was enough to placate anyone frowning about it.

“That’s all we have time for tonight. I’m Jackie Cox-”

“- And I’m Chelsea Piers. Good evening, New York. We’ll see you at the same time tomorrow.”

Jackie and Chelsea shared their usual grin, the rush of the cameras never quite leaving them. They knew they’d smashed the interview with an upcoming congresswoman and felt ready to snicker at whatever Fox News had to say about it. It was pure adrenaline.

But the rush Jackie felt was coming from someplace else too as she listened to Jan excitedly clack her heels against the ground to celebrate her first successful live forecast.

****

Jackie was unwinding on her sofa, limbs stretched out with her fluffy cat companion curled up by her side. She named him Nimbus, and yes she _was_ that complete nerd who had named her cat after a type of cloud. His white long fur and grey splotches meant that Jackie couldn’t resist, and it suited him well. The TV played mindlessly in the background, merely acting as a soundtrack at this point because Jackie was doing something she had resisted all evening: finding the smiley new weather girl on Instagram. 

She desperately wracked her brains to remember Jan’s last name, and she knew for a fact that it began with an M. However, before she could start searching through every ‘Jan M’ profile under the sun, Jackie began to stress; Jan could be a _Janice_ or a _Janet_ or maybe even something totally outlandish. The woman could be a goddamn _Jannifer_ for all Jackie knew, and she almost gave up on her endeavour before remembering that Jan had spent the whole day joined at the hip with Jaida. 

Renewed by her thinking, she freely hummed to herself and clicked through to Jaida’s followers, hopeful when she searched for Jan’s account. _Gotcha._ Jackie would recognise that smile anywhere, and the screen name _janjanjan_ invited her in.

There was practically a welcome mat. 

Jackie already knew that Jan was incredibly pretty, that her smile was infectious and that her style was immaculately polished. Jan would be one of those rare ones who escaped Michelle's scrutiny. Right now, though, looking through the mixture of posed selfies and candid laughter with friends, Jackie realised that Jan was beautiful. With this in mind, she very easily surrendered to the temptation of scrolling further back to the calming sound of soft purrs in the background, contentedly observing Jan at brunch, in her apartment, and at a rooftop bar with the Empire State Building in the background as she brandished a sickly sweet looking cocktail. 

Jackie reached a photo of her in workout gear, a soccer ball under her arm and an over-excited caption about getting back into her favourite sport with far too many emojis. She could practically hear Jan’s high pitched tones just from reading it. Jackie exhaled slowly at the sight of her cleavage in a deep purple sports bra. It left nothing to the imagination, and she swallowed thickly when she noticed the slight outline of her nipples. As she let her gaze skirt downwards, Jackie could truly appreciate Jan’s thighs because she was wearing particularly tiny bike shorts. It made her think of the shape of her ass in her pencil skirt, and that’s the thought that makes Jackie realise that she was drooling over Jan like a teenager. They’d only spoken on the air, in the tiny transition period between segments, but Jackie couldn’t stop looking at her. It felt like her dirty little secret.

Jackie decided that she was content to keep it -

\- and so she kept on scrolling.

Oh. _Oh._

No. God, no.

Jackie’s attempt to scroll became just a little too harsh, turning into a tap, and the onscreen heart teased her as it turned immediately red.

Jackie had managed to like the soccer photo. 

_Fantastic. Great job, Jackie. It’s from two months ago. You’ve barely spoken to her and you don’t even follow her. She’s going to think you’re a complete stalker._

Obviously, Jackie did the only logical thing, which was to curse about it at her cat and throw her phone onto the other side of the couch where it couldn’t possibly offend her. She groaned, utterly mortified, and pressed a cushion against her face. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” She chided Nimbus, who was staring at her questioningly and cocked his adorably fluffy head to the side. “Don’t judge me.”

Jackie resolutely refused to touch her phone, finding distractions through drinking a glass of red wine and reading a good book. This didn't last long though, and her anxious fidgety habits led to her re-organising her entire bookcase for the one hundredth time. She played Destiny’s Child while she did it, singing along without a care for what she sounded like, beyond happy to be looking at and thinking about anything but Instagram. She would have to check her phone at some point, but right now avoidance felt necessary for her own sanity.

She got away without checking it until the time came to crawl into bed. The bedroom had always been Jackie’s safe place, the warm reds and oranges that bathed her room welcomed her into a sanctuary each and every night. Her room was a refuge during her childhood and through her questioning teenage years when the rest of the house felt like she needed a uniform, a uniform of a person who was decidedly _not_ Jackie. So when she moved to New York, shrugging the uniform off, making her brand new bedroom into a welcoming haven was simply a must. 

Jackie often felt silly when she thought about explaining this to people. Her Hell's Kitchen apartment solely belonged to her, so hiding wasn’t needed in any form, but old habits die hard and the bedroom would always feel like a retreat to her. It was an escape that couldn’t be matched by the most expensive of vacations. That’s why Jackie only ever invited a select few people in there, and it had certainly been a while since that last happened. 

So that was why, cradled in the security of her room, Jackie finally felt safe to check her phone, enveloped in the scent of her lavender pillow spray mixed with her rose and hibiscus laundry detergent. She shuffled to get comfortable as she sunk into the mattress, cautiously peeking at her notifications. 

Two messages from Chelsea. Gigi tagged her in a photo on Facebook. A message from her dad.

And then, Jackie spotted the two notifications that really mattered.

_janjanjan liked your photo._

_janjanjan followed you._

Jackie huffed a disbelieving laugh, checking the photo in question. It was one of her hysterically laughing into a Bloody Mary that her friend Gigi had taken at brunch. Jan was cheeky, oh _so_ cheeky, and Jackie imagined that she must be pretty pleased with herself because she’d taken her pick carefully and liked a photo from three months ago, playing Jackie at her own accidental game.

She followed her back, wishing she’d done so in the first place.

It was in that moment that Jackie decided she definitely liked Jan for more than just her body in revealing workout gear. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so your girl was gonna do a whole update schedule but you know what? It's the weekend and we all deserve chapter two of these girlies because I what? Love Them. 
> 
> I'm pretty proud of the POV work I've done here but notably with Jan, I just feel like her voice is C L E A R which is really nice! I'm soooo grateful for all of the screaming and love I've received, particularly regarding Jan in a pencil skirt. YOU'RE SO WELCOME LADIES.
> 
> I hope you love this chapter just as much!!! Over @alittle-bitcloser on Tumblr so come scream @ meeeeee.

If Jan knew one thing it’s that she was damn good at her job.

Upon receiving the job offer, Michelle had warned her about being on the receiving end of possible bitchiness in response to her immediately grabbing this particular position. That’s why she kept her head held high the whole of her first day, not allowing any of the whispers or judgments to get to her no matter what she heard about how young she apparently looked, or how fake her smile was. 

Jan was used to people not _getting_ her. She rubbed some people up the wrong way, people who couldn’t see the value in her relentless optimism, and they tended to take her ‘try-hard’ attitude as amateurish when she was absolutely anything but. Jan had spent years proving them wrong, racking up perfect grades with endless extracurriculars throughout college, but it now meant that every new environment was something she approached with carefully considered caution. The idea of proving herself again felt absolutely exhausting. 

Exhausting, but entirely unsurprising.

Therefore, Jan was treating herself to a well deserved vodka soda after her first day. Got through the live forecast with no mistakes? _Check._ Made friends? _Check._ Gained a tiny crush? _Check._ Jan smirked to herself, eyeing the clear liquid as she made it swirl hypnotically around her glass, questioning whether she could ever go anywhere without, well, _wanting someone_. She never seemed to escape unscathed, but it had taught her absolutely nothing, and she was more than a little weak at the knees for a woman in a suit. As you can imagine, working in news environments meant she was like a kid in a candy store.

Jan thought Jackie Cox was hot when she had only seen her on a television screen, and she was definitely hotter now Jan had seen her in real life. She was also an utter professional. She handled onscreen guests with a firm grace that never relented or allowed them to wriggle their way out of a question. It made her ever so slightly unattainable, far too much of a polished public figure, but Jan liked a challenge every now and then. 

_Just kidding._

Maybe.

Jackie and Chelsea had been going viral at least once a month for the past year in account of their scathing commentaries and witty banter. It felt completely insane to Jan that she now _worked_ with them, that they introduced her forecasts. Career-wise, she was ahead of her time and steaming on through. Everything felt like a _pinch me_ moment. She became dreamy to think about how she would become just as loved by the public, and that their chatter between segments would become more organic, and would grow like Jan’s favourite cherry blossom trees in Central Park that sat between 72nd and 96th Street at certain points in the year.

But, when she said _them,_ she meant Jackie just a little bit more. Jackie who had been incredibly sweet to her in the kitchen, making her feel a sudden and unfamiliar tug. A tugging want in her gut that was buried deep, but made itself known as the need to do a good job. Specifically so Jackie might have something nice to say about her.

Jan was surprised by Jackie’s awkwardness when they had met, completely taken aback by the emotion she held in her expression. The endearing way in which she apologised played in Jan’s mind like a loop, and to be honest, she found it utterly compelling. Suddenly, Jackie was more than just a hot woman in a suit. Jan could say she hadn’t bargained for that, but she was a romantic at heart.

Jan’s phone pinged, and she took a gulp of the last of her drink as she stood to grab the glowing device from the kitchen table. She hadn’t stirred it properly, so the vodka that sat at the bottom of it stung in her throat.

_Jackiecoxnyc liked your photo._

“Oh, did she now?” 

Jan licked her bottom lip as she eagerly tapped the notification, and her eyebrows shot up when she clocked the photo. It was a selfie she’d taken in the mirror of a gym changing room, when she _knew_ her body was looking good in her workout gear ahead of a session playing soccer with some old teammates. She remembered pushing her boobs together ahead of taking it and humming in approval when it came to posting it.

It was two months old, which could only mean one thing: Jackie Cox had been stalking her on Instagram. 

Jan all but squawked in amusement, almost stumbling in the way she excitedly stamped her sock clad feet that slipped on the varnished wood, waving her free hand after slamming her glass down. She got down to business immediately: first by screenshotting the situation to send to her roommate (Lemon - Jan’s roommate, always out for after work drinks, self confessed reality tv addict and magazine gossip columnist - was gonna _die_ at this whole situation _)_ and then by settling down with a snack to get Jackie right back. 

Lemon’s dog, Gus, snored softly from the armchair, unaware of the goings on. Jan figured she should probably start referring to him as _their_ dog by now, but she couldn’t shake the habit.

Fearless as ever, Jan munched her way through some popcorn and followed Jackie right off the bat. The newsreader didn’t seem to have had the guts to follow her, so Jan figured she would make the first move. She started to slowly scroll through Jackie’s Instagram gallery, drinking in all the sides of her that she didn’t know. Which, of course, was most of them. Jackie’s account was more professional than personal. Any photo of her was taken by someone else and couldn’t be found incriminating in any way. There were a few snaps of her and Chelsea with the most likes, both out and about _and_ in their familiar spots behind the newsdesk. 

It felt like a game, trying to determine which photo she should like.

Jan hovered her thumb thoughtfully over a photo of her smiling in Central Park, but settled on another. Jackie looked like joy personified, head thrown back as she laughed at something, clearly at brunch. Jan wanted to see more of this Jackie, more of _any_ of her if she was honest.

And that settled it.

_Like._

****

Jan had started taking detours around the office for no reason whatsoever.

Well, maybe one reason. 

Jackie and Jan haven’t mentioned the Instagram debacle to each other, and maybe they never will, but Jan hasn’t been able to resist watching Jackie going about her business in the office. And, no, it wasn’t spying, it was merely a gentle interest. She clocked the different colours of Jackie’s suits, letting her eyes linger as she pretended to type on her laptop, eyes averted as soon as she felt in danger of being caught. Her little crush had only become exacerbated by the idea that it could be returned. Jackie liking her photo had sent Jan’s mind running wild, but even so, Jan was smart enough to know that clever women like Jackie probably had strict rules about messing around with co-workers. 

Jan also knew that she’d only been in this job for a week, so trying to get into her co-worker’s pants should not be her greatest concern right now.

“Jan! Girl, come on. This shit’s important.” Jaida clicked her fingers in front of Jan’s face, rolling her eyes. “Which colour?”

“Colour?” Jan echoed, none the wiser. 

“Janice, stop staring at your little crush and listen!” Nicky scoffed, waving her phone in Jan’s face. “The network has a party every year, everyone’s invited, they give out some awards, your girlfriend wins everytime, whatever, whatever. I’m asking you which colour dress I should get.”

Jan excitedly snatched the phone from Nicky, suddenly completely on board and choosing to ignore the girlfriend comment. She’d easily given into Nicky and Jaida’s questioning of who she found hot around the office, the lure of ‘best friends tell secrets’ pulling her in. It was her own fault, so she took the teasing without a complaint for the most part. 

“Bitch!” Nicky exclaimed, reaching over to grab it back, only for Jan to hold it further away from her with a giddy chortle.They were like girls at a sleepover, and Jan revelled in the familiarity of this brand of friendship. She felt safe in it.

“Don’t you have a story to research and write?” Jan raised an eyebrow at Nicky, waving the phone out of her reach teasingly. “Nuh-uh - Let me look at these dresses while ya’ll write about the French or whatever.”

“Fuck you, I might _be_ French but I deal with _all_ of Europe. It’s a little bigger than just France.” Nicky huffed, slouching in her seat as she begrudgingly began to work, her acrylic nails clacking prettily against keys. She glanced over to Jan who was still smirking. “Go crazy if you want, just pick me some good options, okay? _Fashion,_ Janice. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

“I’m still picking your shoes, bitch. You promised me that much.” Jaida warned Nicky as she snacked on a bag of mixed nuts. Jan wrinkled her nose at them, much preferring the tang of the sweet candy she had stashed in her desk drawer for emergencies. There was a comfortable silence between them as Jan browsed, letting out a noncommittal hum every now and then at something on the screen.

“Anyway. I think you should wear the white, Nicky. I’ve bookmarked a couple more options too.” Jan placed Nicky’s phone back by her side with a gentle thud, concentration returning to her expression as she finished putting the weather graphic together for the evening to come. “Jaida, tell me more about these awards.”

“ _So._ ” Jaida began, her eyes lighting up in a way that made Jan smile. “It’s a free bar, the _whole_ network is invited - even the kids’ channel and shit, trust me, watch out for them, they go _wild_ \- and it’s a full glitz and glamour affair. The awards aren’t actually that important, just a little smile and applause while you grab your tenth glass of wine.”

“Jan, just stick with us. We know how to do the night right.” Nicky shot her a wink that made promises Jan wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to be a part of.

“Do the night right?” Jan repeated slowly. “Should I be worried?”

“Don’t listen to this hoe, her way of _doing the night right_ is if someone ends up in her bed.” Jaida remarked, clicking her tongue judgmentally.

“I didn’t hear you complaining last year-”

Jan’s eyes widened as she looked between them, an equally gleeful and shocked smirk appearing on her face. Jaida excused herself, swift and snappy, leaving an air of tension in her wake. 

If Nicky noticed, she didn’t look like it. She just looked incredibly satisfied.

****

Footsteps tapped against squeaky clean floors and her hums were quiet and tuneful until they were interrupted. Jan’s stomach dropped when she heard her name thrown into the conversation happening behind the wall in the green room. It felt like lead, heavy and impossible to hold in her hands. The open door allowed the sound to travel like an unwanted piece of music, it wasn’t in tune and Jan repelled it. It acted like a barrier that promptly stopped Jan in her tracks, she couldn’t move, trying to desperately pick up the lead that had fallen and banged on the ground. She felt like they might have heard it. 

Instead of coolly walking into the greenroom like she had intended, she stood by the doorway, out of sight, and listened.

“Does she think it’s a fuckin’ kid’s show? That’s three floors down, honey.” That was Willam’s voice. Blonde, bold and snappy. Jan wasn’t sure what to make of her, but now she certainly knew what Willam made of her.

“Will! I think she’s alright.” Jan recognised Courtney’s distinctive Australian drawl, and she felt grateful for the small defence being mounted in her favour. Courtney worked as an antithesis to Willam’s spiky edges, all soft padded corners and gentle speech patterns. “She’s just...peppy, I like it. It’s cute!”

“Court, it’s a _lot._ At least Alexis didn’t annoy the fuck out of me-” Willam scoffed, and Jan bit her lip, willing herself not to start crying in the middle of the office. _Their opinion doesn’t matter. Hold it together._

“- And, look, you and I both know that Farrah was a shoo in for the six o’clock slot.” Willam continued, prompting Jan to curse quietly, taking a small shuddery breath that she couldn’t avoid.

“Would you give her a break?” 

This voice was new.

“Jan is good at her job. She’s pleasant, she’s prompt and she’s a breath of fresh air in this place.” It took Jan a moment before she realised that the voice belonged to Jackie, firm and pointed in its tone. It was careful and controlled, and it picked up the lead of Jan’s stomach with strong hands. It helped her carry it. Jan held her breath as she listened, swallowing thickly against the burning sensation of tears in her eyes. “Just because you’re miserable, it doesn’t mean that she has to be.”

The sudden clacking of Jackie’s shoes wasn’t enough notice for Jan to flee the scene, escape without being noticed, and Jackie bumped straight into her as she stormed out of the room. 

“Oh!-” Jan had to steady Jackie in her rapid tracks, stopping them from stumbling into one another by holding onto her upper arms. The irritation in Jackie’s eyes seemed to alleviate immediately upon seeing her, turning into sheer surprise, and then, clouds of sympathy settled in her irises. It made Jan straighten up, grit her teeth with determination. She held her head up.

“Oh, _Jan…”_ Jackie began, eyes darting momentarily over to the green room and back to Jan’s face. “Did you hea-”

“Y’know, Jackie, I’ve got so much left to do before we go live! Busy, busy!” Jan interrupted, her fake laughter a little too obvious, and she cringed her way through it. “So I’ll just see you on the air, okay doll?” 

Jan felt Jackie attempt to clutch onto her arm, but let her heels take her swiftly down the corridor as if they were the only thing driving her, simply offering a flippant wave over her shoulder. She didn’t even look behind her as she did it, but she imagined that Jackie still wore that same face of simultaneous concern and care. As Jan was dipped into icy waters, Jackie offered her a raft. Jan refused it, adamant that she could clamber out of the tide herself. And she did, just like always. But Jackie might have offered the kind of warmth that was always needed when you were shivering, recovering from a biting and bitter chill.

Jan retreated to the enclosed safety of her desk, muting out the sounds of Nicky and Jaida waxing lyrical around her. Usually she would easily join in with the cacophony, but her voice wouldn’t come. She met Jaida’s eye, giving her a tiny smile, and was grateful that the woman seemed to immediately understand that Jan wasn’t in the mood. Jaida was so easy, so amiable and understanding, that she deftly took Nicky off to Starbucks when she began to ask Jan why she was being so quiet. 

She got everything done in record time, getting ahead of her work, and found comfort in the most unexpected of places. Stories she caught the tail end of from Bob’s desk, the buzz of the crappy coffee machine, Michelle’s greeting when she passed her by. After a while, she began smiling to herself whenever she heard Jackie’s laughter travel through the air and come to rest at her desk. The sound acted as proof that Jackie was just a few desks north of where she was sat, and the warmth of her earlier defence worked to combat any unease Jan had felt.

Jan had gone from rattling like a grenade to being serenely defused, scorched red to soft peach, and Jackie had no idea she had done anything at all. 

Unsurprisingly, the broadcast that afternoon went off without a hitch. Jan never let personal issues bleed into her work, and Jackie and Chelsea were on fire as usual. Jan watched them fire comments back and forth in between segments, and her eyes were either fixed on the monitor or on the real thing. Jackie was a complete hand talker, gesticulating wildly to make her points during interviews unless her hands were busied with her mug or her iPad. Her nails were a bright red, always perfectly manicured to the standards of the channel, and Jan would be lying if she said she wasn’t completely fixated on the sight of her fingers around her mug whenever she took a quick drink.

Jan caught herself on that thought, biting her lip to suppress a filthy smirk. 

_Yeah, it had been a while._

Jackie gave Jan a little wink of encouragement as she handed the viewers over to her. Jan really hoped she wasn’t imagining things when she thought that Jackie seemed pleased about her perking up, her brightness returning. 

Once they wrapped up, Jan watched as Jackie and Chelsea shared a small exchange. She waited, not wanting to burst their little bubble, and hung back with a shuffle of her feet. Chelsea passed her and gave her a kind smile, throwing her a “good job today, Jan” as she passed. Maybe Jackie told her what happened. Jan didn’t mind, and she _definitely_ didn’t mind it if it gained her more allies around here. 

Jackie was beginning to leave the studio space, humming a song Jan didn’t know. Jan wasn’t sure what compelled her to hurt her poor toes when she half ran over to her, because heels were not made for this shit and she’d never ran for a woman in her life.

“Jackie!” Jan deftly caught up with her, laughing a little bashfully as she tucked a lock of escaping hair behind her ear. Her updo was a neat, sleek bun with just a few flyaway strands that just wouldn’t behave. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for earlier. I feel like I was a little rude. I heard what you said, Jackie, _thank you,_ really, thank you for sticking up for me. You didn’t have to-”

“Jan, I did have to. It was completely uncalled for.” Jackie interrupted her ramblings with a stern shake of her head as she spoke, but her voice was gentle. “I meant everything that I said.”

“Well, thank you...It meant a lot.” Jan finished dumbly, feeling at a loss and wishing she could grab onto at least a single strand of conversation.

“Don’t you dare thank me again, I’ve told you, it’s fine. I’d do it again. And don’t listen to Willam either.” Jackie advised in hushed tones, a small smirk on her face. “She’s good at her job but she likes the sound of her own voice a little too much.”

“Alright, alright! No more apologies, I promise.” Jan giggled, feeling the inside of her blazer pockets to locate her phone. “ _Shoot._ I was going to give you my number but my phone’s at my desk. Do you have your phone? Or a pen?” 

Jan’s voice was a mile a minute, and her mind was too as she glanced around for something to write with. Jackie’s sudden bemused chuckle slowed her down until she came to a complete halt.

“What?”

“Your pen. It’s, uh…” Jackie gestured towards the side of Jan’s head, making her blush deeply at the realisation she had tucked it behind her ear for safekeeping after her broadcast. _Idiot._

“I knew that!” Jan chirped, eagerly grabbing Jackie’s hand so that she could write her phone number on the back of it in her signature loopy handwriting. “Text me, okay?”

“No problem.” Jackie inspected the number for a moment before offering Jan a warm smile. 

“And, like, don’t wash your hands or anything before you’ve put that in your phone.” Jan warned, unable to hold in a small huff at Jackie’s raised eyebrow. “What?! It’ll wash off!”

“Yeah, Jan, that’s kinda how it works.” Jackie teased, and Jan found that she liked it. It made her roll her eyes and purse her lips to suppress a grin, the tingle of it popping on her tongue. 

They walked to their desks together in a new but easy companionable silence, settling into it with the utmost smoothness. Jan never found herself silent, it was uncharacteristic and something she usually did when something wasn’t right, but here and now it was out of ease and comfort. It felt nice.

“See you tomorrow, okay Jan?” Jackie raised her voice across the office, a tan backpack slung over her shoulders. Jan looked up from where she was hurriedly double-checking her handbag. 

“Sure! See you then!” Jan trilled, practically skipping into the elevator, a far cry from the tears in her eyes earlier, and all because of one particular person. 

****

Jan’s roommate worked ten blocks away. She dyed her naturally blonde hair a shade of highlighter yellow that nobody should have been able to pull off that well, and was a magazine columnist who knew everything about every celebrity in Manhattan (and their dogs). Upon introducing herself to new people, she would make the stupidest joke that she always got the _juiciest squeeze_ when it came to gossip. She’s called Lemon. Get it? Jan could roll her eyes just thinking about it. 

Jan couldn’t fault her skill for getting secrets out of you, and it was absolutely apparent from the moment they had first met. She constantly fell victim to the sorcery until she began willingly spilling her guts, and their friendship flourished into Dance Moms marathons and lazy hungover Sundays together. So, of course, Jan filled her in from start to finish when they met at their favourite bar halfway in between their offices. They sat outside, jackets slung over the backs of their seats.

“So the one and only _Sweetheart of New York’s News_ came to your rescue, huh? _”_

“Lem, it’s _Jackie_ , don’t be weird about it.” Jan rested her chin in her hand, stirring her cocktail absently. “I don’t need gossip mode Lemon right now, I need best friend Lemon.”

“ _It’s just Jackie.”_ Lemon tittered mockingly, shaking her head. “Whatever, girl. You’ve got a big lesbian crush on her. So, now what?”

“She was nice about me, she defended me! She’s my _friend_ and I got her number. To text. To be friends.”

“Friends don’t want friends to rail them into the mattress.” Lemon was offhand, casual, while Jan nearly choked on her margarita, spluttering as her roommate simply grinned in a self-satisfied fashion. 

“You’ve really got a way with words, you know that?”

“I know.” Lemon sang angelically, sipping her cosmopolitan, and her large statement rings glittered prettily in the light of the early evening. “I’m also absolutely right. Ever since she liked your Instagram photo you haven’t shut up about her.”

Jan paused, a guilty and awkward smile overtaking her face as she considered Lemon’s point. She gestured dismissively, as if it would get her off the hook from all the evenings she’d returned home and chattered on about something hilarious Jackie said on the air, how she wore her hair that day or what colour her blazer was. _Ah._

“You want a lesson from Lemon?” Lemon arched an eyebrow questioningly, setting her drink down like she meant business. Before Jan could turn down her offer, she cleared her throat and continued talking. “Three words, bitch. Delusional. Self. Confidence. It’s the Lemon brand. You need to talk to her like you’ve fucked her already.”

Lemon looked deadly serious, nodding solemnly as her glossy lips closed around her straw. There were a lot of things Jan trusted Lemon with: internet stalking, her taste in clothing, make-up and pop culture. Sex and dating? That was yet to be confirmed and Lemon had been single ever since Jan knew her. Although, admittedly, delusional self confidence didn’t sound like the worst idea Jan had ever heard.

“I can do that.” Jan was tentatively on board, nodding before she downed the final dregs of her cocktail. She wondered if the burning tequila at the bottom was an omen, telling her to never ever take Lemon’s advice, but she fought past it and figured she could take the risk.

“Yes you can, because you’re who? That bitch.” Lemon was a tangy dream. She could be as bitter as she could be sweet and Jan was entirely grateful for her. 

“To being that bitch.” Jan announced, lifting her empty glass towards her friend.

Lemon accepted the offer, bouncing a little excitedly in her seat and clinking her glass against Jan’s with a twinkle in her eye.

“Oh, I can’t _wait_ to see how this turns out.”

****

 **+1-541-754-3010** **:**

_Hi Jan! 😊 It’s Jackie. This is my number so you can save it! I meant what I said today. Don’t listen to people who don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. You’re really great at what you do xxx_

  
  



	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm doing this thing where I have zero update schedule BUT I try to keep two chapters ahead of myself so for you lucky lot that means YOU'RE GETTING CHAPTER THREE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE CHAPTER FIVE JUST WRAPPED ITSELF UP. 
> 
> I'm sooo happy you guys love these girls AND that you really love the alternating POV!!! I love to see it!! Can you believe I'm really doing a slowburn? WILD MOVES FOR ME
> 
> I'd say I have that Friday Feeling but it's more accurate that I have that....Pri-day Feeling. If you know. What I'm saying. (Bad joke - I hate me too okay I'm just SO PLEASED)
> 
> As always @alittle-bitcloser on Tumblr, I hope you enjoy more idiots here!!

Texting Jan was Jackie’s new favourite hobby. 

Their chats weren’t deep by any means, but Jackie was learning more about the most giddy woman on earth by the day. Silly, trivial things like how much she overused the _🥺_ emoji and favoured the purple hearts over anything else. Jackie was more classic with her emoji use, laughing faces, red hearts and smiley faces worked just fine for her. Jan liked to punctuate her points with tiny sparkles, amongst other things, and Jackie found that she was fond of it. She might have even found it annoying in someone else, but she quickly banished that thought to the very back of her head. 

Because then she had to confront it, wonder about it, delve into it. 

Jan was a part of work, but she was quickly becoming a part of home too.

**Jan:**

_THIS HUMIDITY IS SO FUCKED UP JACKIE AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? SPOILER ALERT: IT ISN’T ABOUT TO END 😫_

**Jackie:**

_You mean....as the weathergirl you can’t just change the weather and make it stop? 🤣_

**Jan:**

_Wow. Imagine the power I would have!!_

_✨✨✨_

**Jackie:**

_Off topic but not really because he’s hating this weather - have I shown you my cat?_

_Wait, do you like cats?_

**Jan:**

_I LOVE CATS_

_I LOVE ANIMALS!! 💜_

Jackie took a photo of Nimbus who was purring happily in her lap, rather fittingly looking like his namesake with the way he was curled up into a ball. The soft shape of a passing cloud. Jan’s response was instantaneous, a multitude of excitable emojis and crying faces as she exclaimed about how cute he was. Jackie could almost hear her squeals.

**Jan:**

_What’s his name?! Her name?? 🐱_

**Jackie:**

_He’s a boy. Nimbus - like the cloud? I think he looks like one!_

**Jan:**

_Jackie you’re so right omg I’m obsessed!! 🥺😍_

_Okay but how do you feel about dogs?_

**Jackie:**

_I say justice for cats - but I don’t mind dogs!_

Jackie pressed send and the reply Jan sent was almost instantaneous - it was also entirely _not_ what Jackie was expecting. If Jan and her roommate shared a dog, Jackie had expected it to be a petite little thing that yapped around your ankles. Maybe even small enough to fit into a handbag. From knowing Jan and from what she had told Jackie about her roommate, she expected something quite...dainty and girly, if she was being perfectly honest.

Oh, how wrong she was.

Jackie hadn’t seen a photo of Jan’s roommate, but a photo came through of a yellow haired girl in an oversized hoodie throwing up a peace sign with a loveable bulldog half draped over her. The dog was adorable, Jackie had to admit, just a lot bigger than she’d imagined. He looked chubby, soft to touch, and was sleeping soundly. 

**Jan:**

_So this is Gus…..He is absolutely all Lem's doing…..But he’s part of the family and we love him 🥺💜_

**Jackie:**

_Oh he's so SO CUTE ❤️ ❤️❤️_

_Please take this the right way when I say I expected a chihuahua or something? Not a chubby French bulldog type?_

**Jan:**

_HAHAHHA OMG NO OFFENCE TAKEN_

_Everyone says that!!_

Jackie thought their number swapping might just be a matter of convenience. That’s what you do when you make friends, you give them your number and then on the off chance you’re all out in the same group you can always find your way back to them. Jackie didn’t really tend to text people on a constant thread, not even Chelsea who sometimes spammed her for opinions and quicker replies. However, with Jan, she found herself tapping the screen with the expectation that the preview of her next text would be glowing, ready and waiting for her to open it.

Jackie thought about asking Jan if she wanted to go for a drink or out for some food. _Thought_ being the operative word. Jackie constantly did things outside of work with people like Chelsea, and she’d even been out with Nicky and Jaida a few times, but Jan felt different. Jackie would feel like she was asking her out on a date, and she didn’t date people from work. 

So, their relationship continued to flourish and blossom through their screens, and an intimacy between them was bred in the airwaves that failed to translate to real life. Jackie was blocking it, disabling the connectivity, keeping it where it felt the most safe. It wasn't that they were avoiding each other, definitely not, but if you saw them in the office you would never think they were spending every waking moment outside of work texting one another. They swapped pleasantries, offered greetings as they passed, and chatted on the air with a professional comfortability. 

****

**Jan:**

_Do you have any nicknames?? I’ve ALWAYS just been known as Jan so it doesn’t feel like a nickname to me ☺️_

**Jackie:**

_Just Jan suits you! 👏🏻 I guess Jackie is already a nickname for Jacqueline?_

**Jan:**

_Omg duh, am I dumb?_

_I think Jacks would suit you!! - what do you think? Would you be mad if I called you that? 🥺💜_

**Jackie:**

_I suppoooose I’ll allow it 😉_

_You never know, I might even like it!_

_****_

The viewers absolutely loved Jan. They ate her up. They unearthed an old Instagram video of her singing at an open mic night and made enough of a fuss that the network showed it on the channel, making her blush and preen under the adoration from those who were definitely talking shit just a few days prior (even Willam made a point to compliment her on it - it was flippant, but a compliment nonetheless). Jan was the fresh personality they needed, bringing a spark to the screen. It helped that Jan knew how to handle social media, and her feed became a plethora of ridiculous weather puns with photos of herself sitting pretty on her midtown balcony at golden hour. Jackie thought she deserved it, thought that it served the shit-talkers right. She felt smug, and Chelsea quietly teased her about how obvious it was.

Jackie didn’t entertain Chelsea with an answer, she refused to do so.

It had been a good day. Jackie and Chelsea were shoo-ins to be nominated for awards at the network’s event in a few weeks (not a surprise, but welcome nonetheless), it was a Friday which meant the weekend was on its way and the office had shared a big box of various doughnuts for breakfast. Jackie felt happy, gleeful even, and it certainly showed. 

“And now it’s time for the weather with everyone’s favourite ray of sunshine, Jan!”

That was professional, right? Jackie didn’t second guess it until Chelsea shot her a stealthy look in response to the words that so easily fell from her tongue like a downpour of rain. Jackie kept her eyes firmly fixed on the monitor, where she could see Jan, and she cocked a brow when the poor blonde nearly dropped her clicker and exclaimed: “Oh! Thank you, babe!”

_Babe._

As soon as it left Jan’s lips, Jackie had to fight against the smirk that threatened to take over her whole face. She wasn’t sure where the professionalism stopped and started anymore, but this was the first piece of evidence that their back and forth texting wasn’t just some kind of fever dream. It just so happened that Jan had decided to display this evidence this on live television. She was left scrambling for her smiley yet collected demeanour which had been lost on the floor somewhere the minute Jackie had sweet-talked her on live television. 

Part of Jackie felt bad for putting her off like that, pulling the pet-name of ‘babe’ from her lips like the gentlest tug of war game ever played, but another part of her felt...well...smug. It was an indication that their closeness was real, tangible, not just wireless and invisible. It made Jackie want to stop disabling the possibilities of it.

“What was that all about?” Chelsea wasted no time, interrogating Jackie immediately.

“What was what all about?”

“Everyone’s favourite ray of sunshine? Jackie, _come on.”_

“What?! She is! They’re eating her up, it was just a nice thing to say.” Jackie reasoned, huffing and averting her gaze from Chelsea's piercing glare. It felt like she could read her and it unsettled Jackie greatly.

“They’re eating her up or you wish you were?” 

“Chelsea. Let. This. Go.”

“Absolutely not!” Chelsea hit back with a resistance that surprised Jackie, and she hushed her deftly. Jan was still around here somewhere and she didn’t need to hear any of this. “She called you _babe.”_

“Slip of the tongue. I said something nice and she was nice back.” Her voice was clipped and quick.

“Jackie, is something going on with you two?”

Jackie paused, unpacking the word ‘something’ in her head. Texting was certainly something, even if it wasn’t the something Chelsea was expecting. She met her friend’s eye. Her gaze was calculating, as if she was trying her very best to ply the answers from Jackie’s expression alone.

“ _Something_ is happening, but not- not _that_ something.” Jackie’s voice was quiet, almost under her breath, and she gestured absently as she spoke. 

The studio was gradually emptying, and Jackie waved Chelsea over in the direction of the kitchen as the lights dimmed. The green room would be filled with gossip, laughter and Bob who would be undoubtedly zeroing in on Jan for answers about why Jackie was suddenly _babe._ Chelsea followed Jackie eagerly, close behind her, her curiosity stifling the air and causing Jackie to cough delicately.

Without having to be asked, Chelsea closed the door behind them, and Jackie could have laughed at the way her friend was expecting something so scandalous when the truth was anything but. 

“Jan and I are texting.”

“Sexting?”

“ _Texting._ ” Jackie corrected, rolling her eyes. Someone had left some pastries on the table, and she picked at them as she spoke. “We’re just having conversations. We figured out that we both live in Hell’s Kitchen, I sent her a picture of my cat, she sent me one of her dog. It’s friendship.”

Jackie’s voice did a very specific thing when she was being defensive. It became stuck in her throat, breaking on its way out, getting higher in pitch.

“When you say you sent her a picture of your cat...” Chelsea trailed off, her tone condescending in the way it dripped with sordid suggestion.

“I meant my goddamn cat, Chels, don’t try it.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” Chelsea acquiesced, holding her hands up in surrender. Jackie didn’t buy it, but it would have to do for now. “But I do have a question.”

Chelsea paused, and Jackie silently gestured as if to say _the floor is yours_.

“You two don’t talk at work. At all.” Chelsea remarked, tentative in her wording, trying to reach past defensive Jackie’s walls. “What’s that all about?”

Jackie took a seat at the table, shrugging with a feigned nonchalance as she did. She decided to be honest. “I don’t know. We’re practically strangers here but without the face to face pressure we’re talking about everything.”

Chelsea’s expression softened, melting chocolate on a warm day, and she took a seat opposite Jackie. She mirrored her in so many instances, where people saw and where people didn’t, and this moment of vulnerability was yet another one of those times when people couldn’t see. She didn’t demand anything of Jackie, or probe any further, prompting an expression of surprise when she asked her next question.

“Did you say you both live in Hell’s Kitchen?” Chelsea asked, and Jackie blinked as if she hadn’t heard her right. 

Jackie nodded, her brow furrowed in a way that created the gentlest of creases in her forehead.

“Walk home with her on Monday. It’s twenty five minutes on foot to your neighbourhood, and the sun’s out.” Chelsea looked pleased with herself, the cat who got the cream, and Jackie could have picked her up and spun her around with the sheer ease of this idea.

“Why didn’t I think of that?”

“No offence, Jackie, but you’ve never been on the ball around a pretty girl.” Chelsea smirked, and Jackie swiftly and softly kicked her under the table.

“I hate you-” Jackie quipped as she stood up, ignoring Chelsea’s ridiculous laughter as she went to collect her things and retire for the weekend.

As Jackie left, she heard a bemused and incredulous "no you don't!" that she held with her fondly.

****

**Jackie:**

_You live in Hell’s Kitchen, right? We talked about this?_

For the record, Jackie did remember. She knew that they’d discussed this, but she needed a way in. Her phone was buzzing again in seconds, and a highly irritated Nimbus felt it against his tail and left the sofa indignantly. 

**Jan:**

_Yeah I’m like ten blocks away from you!!_

**Jackie:**

_Would you want to walk home together on Monday? The subway is too sweaty in this weather _☺️__

**Jan:**

_It’s a deal but ONLY if we get fro-yo on the way? I know a place 🤗_

**Jackie:**

_Who am I to argue with that?_

Jackie’s thumb hovered over the message she had half typed after that where she had called Jan ‘babe’ with a wink to bring attention back to her earlier slip up, show her that she hadn't forgotten, but she wasn’t quite brave enough. She didn’t know how embarrassed Jan would be, and worried that she would be absolutely mortified to the point of never wanting it mentioned. But, then again, maybe she wouldn’t be. Maybe Jan would simply flush pink and roll her eyes. Maybe she’d tell Jackie to shut up, and the possibilities continued to move like a rolodex in her mind. 

Jackie would love to have her blushing and trying to explain herself if she was perfectly honest, but that was enough reason for her not to do it. She wanted to _see_ it and over text simply wasn’t enough. If she couldn’t feel the warmth radiating from Jan’s flushed complexion like a roaring fire then it wasn’t worth mentioning.

****

**Jan:**

_What’s your sign?_

**Jackie:**

_Aries - what about you?_

**Jan:**

_Gemini!!_

_Before you give me shit, we get a bad rep. I promiiiiise we aren’t that bad!!_

**Jackie:**

_Hmmm...We’ll see about that… 🤣_

**Jan:**

_Jackieeeee be nice 🥺_

****

The producers had their own corner of the office where they giggled and whispered. They liked their little clique, and it wasn’t as though they were particularly rude about it, but they were certainly settled in their ways. So it was always a surprise when one of them breached another area of the office.

Naomi was beautiful, it was completely undeniable. Legs up to her ass and eyes like Bambi, it wasn’t hard to appreciate her. She trotted over to Jackie and Chelsea in her heels with a small wave in the middle of the day. She caught Jackie in the middle of overthinking her walk with Jan, and Chelsea was chastising her to the high heavens because _get a grip, it’s just a walk._

“Hey,” Naomi drawled coolly, shuffling some papers in her hands and pursing her glossy lips before placing a sheet in front of each of them. “The higher ups just sent some voting sheets for the award nominees. Basically, if there’s anything you’re not sure of just…guess? Kim’s handling the menus so she’ll be round to ask about food options. Any questions?”

“What kind of things wouldn’t we be sure of?” Chelsea skimmed the page, her voice quizzical.

“ _Well_ , I don’t exactly watch the kids channel or spend any time down there.” Naomi shrugged, laid back and her voice dripping like honey as she checked her cuticles. “So I might just guess that...Crystal is pretty good at being a clown. Or Priyanka deserves it because I _guess_ she’s a great princess? It’s basically not a big deal to kinda make it up.”

“Got it, thanks Naomi.” Jackie gave her a winning smile and gained a small one back. As Naomi moved to the next set of desks, Jackie picked up a red pen, starting to immediately tick the boxes before her.

“I heard Chelsea Piers _sucks-”_ She snickered playfully, but ticked the box beside her name in the category for Excellence in Reporting nonetheless. She knew that Chelsea was selecting her own name, and felt a constant sense of safety and support when she was with her friend - even if they did like driving each other crazy. 

Chelsea scoffed. “The bitch beside her isn’t much better.”

Jackie felt like a child when she hid her paper a little to tick the box beside Jan’s name for the Best Newcomer. That particular category stretched across the whole network, the whole collection of channels, and Jackie didn’t hesitate. Jan deserved it. 

To be honest, Jackie was so taken with her that another nominee could have solved world hunger and she still might have considered ticking Jan’s name. 

However, Jackie wasn’t about to admit that out loud so hiding her tick from Chelsea was necessary. 

The day passed quickly, the quickest Monday in months, and minutes blurred into hours seamlessly. Before Jackie knew it, she was zipping up her backpack and a certain bubbly blonde was standing in front of her waiting to go home together.

No, not _home together. Walk_ together. 

Jackie shook her head as if to clear it and let Jan lead her into the elevator and out into the streets of downtown Manhattan. Jan was prepared, pulling sunglasses from her handbag when the sudden sun threatened to blind them. Jackie had to settle for squinting her eyes until the shade relieved her.

They chatted easily, and Jan excitedly pulled her into the small frozen yogurt shop as promised. It was garishly designed and very in your face but Jan insisted it was the best on this side of town. She opted for the sickly sweet option of sprinkles and chocolate chips, turning her nose up at Jackie’s strawberry flavoured choice with raspberries and white chocolate shavings. 

“Thanks for not mentioning what happened.” Jan started once they were walking and eating, something that required more skill than you’d think when tourists were populating the sidewalks.

“Hm?” Jackie played dumb, but offered her a barely hidden smirk.

“Y’know...Babe-gate.” Jan huffed a laugh, rolling her eyes. “I probably shouldn’t have called you that on the air.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I put you off. I was just being…” Jackie trailed off, nose wrinkling as she tried to find the word. She wasn’t entirely sure what word she was even looking for, as calling Jan a ray of sunshine fell from her mouth so easily. Every morning Jackie turned her shower on and brewed a cup of tea, and she had done for years now. Saying this particularly affectionate thing about Jan felt even easier than that, like she was already used to doing it.

“Kind.” Jan supplied, gesturing at her with her little plastic spoon. “You were being kind.”

“Yeah,” Jackie agreed dumbly, savouring the sweetness of the raspberry on her tongue before carrying on. “Michelle didn’t seem to care. If anything, it fits with who you are onscreen _and_ off. You’re Jan. The viewers like the loveable person that you are so you’ve probably done the network some favours. It makes us look like friends, it’s welcoming for everyone watching.”

“Well, aren’t we?”

“What?”

“Friends.”

“Well, of course.” Jackie answered a little too quickly, and glanced over to Jan, looking over fast enough to see something flicker over her face. It looked like expectation had turned into disappointment, like Jackie had let her down, but there was no time to dwell on it because she was beaming again in no time. 

Jackie felt whiplashed, like she wanted to replay Jan in slow motion and work her out. But before she could revel in the quiet, use it as thinking time, Jan was speaking again. She changed topics like nobody Jackie had ever known, shooting from this to that with a relentless ease and the expectation that you were constantly following her. Jackie was hot on the heels of her speech, nodding coolly and just feeling content to be taken on whatever ride she wanted. She trusted that wherever Jan led her, she wouldn't trip.

“Jackie? He-llo? Anyone in there?” Jan dragged out her words and tossed her empty fro-yo cup into a bin, smiling at her. Jackie wondered what their height difference would be if Jan didn’t insist on wearing heels everyday. “You went all quiet.”

“I was just listening. It’s my job to talk, it’s nice when someone takes over.” Jackie remarked as she went to finish the final pieces of fruit in her tub. She ate slower than Jan, her sensitive teeth never liking too much of the cold.

“Uhh, Jacks?”

Jackie could confirm that she liked the way this take on her name sounded in Jan’s mouth.

“Jan?” 

“Think I could steal one?”

Jackie dramatically gasped as if Jan had asked for her first born child, making the blonde burst into high giggles, doubling over with it. She teasingly opened her mouth as if she was waiting for Jackie to feed her.

“Oh, absolutely _not_ , I draw the line at feeding you fruit in the middle of the street.” Jackie left her the final two raspberries, and handed over the tub.

“Fine.” Jan pouted, joy present in her brown eyes even as she snatched the tub and hummed happily at the sour tang of the fruit. 

“Brat.” Jackie sniggered, and it turned into a chortle when Jan bumped her with her hip, accompanying it with a dramatic “oops!”. 

Before they knew it, Jackie was stopping before her building with a regretful “this is me”, lacking enough nerve to ask her inside or suggest that they should keep walking until they hit Central Park. The tension of deciding how to leave eachother was thicker than the humidity, and Jan tucked a loose strand behind her ear with an almost nervous laugh as she stared at Jackie expectantly, brushing her heel back and forth against the ground.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jan broke the silence, and Jackie’s friendly nod made her glance towards the ground with a coy smile. 

Jackie was turning on her heel when she heard the gentle “wait-”, and Jan immediately pulled her into a hug. Drowning in Jan’s arms felt easy. The perfume that lingered on her skin smelt of vanilla and jasmine with a tinge of sharp coffee beans and white musk, each scent making itself known to Jackie who memorised it, dipped into the waters of it, swirled her toe in circles. It made ripples in the stark contrast of her mango and passionfruit shampoo.

Jackie felt like her hair should have been damp, droplets adorning her skin by the time the hug was over, but it was far too humid for that and the hug was _just_ a hug. By the time Jan has kept on walking with a cheerful chirp of “bye!”, Jackie is left on the sidewalk watching her go. 

She climbed the stairs to her building, one step at a time, biting the inside of her cheek. When she finally reached her apartment, she deftly closed the door behind her and stood with her back to it, clutching the handle. 

Jackie was way in over her head, but she sighed it out, letting the thought dissipate into the air. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ladies, theydies and all!! So things REALLY HAPPEN IN THIS CHAPTER and I'm excited to see everyone's thoughts on the direction I've taken, especially after the last update got Real Soft. 
> 
> As always, I can't thank you enough for the beaut comments and love you guys give!! Come scream on Tumblr @alittle-bitcloser and have lovely days!!

It turned out that talking to Jackie as though they had already fucked was harder than Jan first thought. She hadn’t exactly been successful, rather stumbling blindly and dizzily through midtown walks and photos of their pets.

It was time to up her game and make things happen.

“Delusional self confidence, delusional self confidence.” 

Jan repeated the words to herself in the mirror of the office bathrooms like a mantra, willing Lemon’s brand to become her own, but the truth of the matter was she didn’t suit yellow half as well as her roommate did and she was finding _this_ to be just as much of a challenge. Ever since Jan had admitted that Jackie had been on her mind in a way that was much more than platonic, Lemon seemed to think she was the patron saint of matchmaking. Cupid, if you will, but way less innocent. Jan had joked that ‘stupid’ might be a more appropriate name and earned a bitchy glare in response.

Jan was uncharacteristically apprehensive and shaky, Jackie’s charming manner and stupidly sweet walks home were bringing softer thoughts, gossamer and tulle in her mind, and that made making a move far more terrifying. She dug through her deep blush handbag, calling her own personal Cupid who had spent the night before waxing lyrical about all the different ways Jan could attract Jackie’s attention.

And, if it worked, maybe even more than just her attention.

She picked up after two rings.

“Are you obsessed with me? We left the apartment together like an hour and a half ago,” Lemon drawled down the phone, nasal and clearly amused with herself. At the sound of Jan’s exasperated sigh, she gave in. _“Fine,_ what’s up?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing!” Jan panicked, whining down the phone in an effort to gain the boost of confidence she so desperately needed.

“Jan, I swear to god, I’m not your babysitter. Now put on some gloss, undo a button on your shirt, stick your ass out in that skirt and get your goddamn woman.” Lemon was stern, and was clearly drinking her morning caramel macchiato in between her tough words of encouragement. “You know who you are?” 

“Who?”

“You’re that bitch. Now, I’ve gotta go, my deadline is midday. Live, laugh, love and whatever. Text me!” Lemon's voice moved at a million miles a minute, and before Jan could speak, she had cut the call. 

Jan pouted at her own reflection, feeling unfairly abandoned, but huffed and quickly willed herself to get over it. As advised, she undid the top button of her blouse to reveal a little more cleavage and reapplied her lip gloss, taking a moment in the fingerprint smudged mirror to inspect her curves in her pencil skirt. Once she was satisfied, she gave herself a mental kick up the ass, and left the bathroom. 

On her way past, she made sure to shoot Jackie a winning smile, and earning one back felt like a victory when she also received a small wink to accompany it.

Were they flirting?

Jan couldn’t be entirely sure. It felt like they might be, but Jackie was so irritatingly kind to everyone that she couldn’t solidly know. 

Jackie was a constant ray of light who enacted small tokens of kindness on everyone who came her way. One day she left a pastry from her favourite patisserie on Nicky’s desk because they’d had a conversation in which Nicky had pined for her favourite Parisian treat. Another day, Jan watched her comfort a crying Kim in the corner. With Naomi on one side and Jackie on the other, Kim spoke quietly to them both and Jackie seemed to find it easy to offer affections in the form of a soothing rub on the arm or the offer of a tissue from her own personal packet.

On the surface, the notion of Jackie's endless kindness felt incredibly romantic, admirable even, it made Jan like her so much her head could spin. However, it also made Jan’s head spin in a way that was far more confusing. 

Jan could never be certain whether Jackie's warmth was being equally shared amongst everyone, but damn it, she was determined to find out and bask in all that was offered to her.

****

Jan had a plan, and it was time to trigger the gears into action.

They were in the kitchen area. Jackie was keeping herself to herself on the sofa with Nicky sat opposite her. They spoke comfortably, but enjoyed a restful silence that Jan was determined to break. The night before, she and Lemon had partaken in one of their favourite activities: a huge, shared online order all in the name of free delivery and roommate bonding. This week’s payday pick had been lingerie, and it all sat waiting in Jan’s virtual basket on her phone. 

“Nicky, help me!” Jan's voice was high and fretful, bordering on downright stroppy. She bounced ever so slightly on the spot until Nicky raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to continue. Jan saw this as permission and approached her as she spoke. “You’re gonna help me pick lingerie. I trust you.”

Nicky’s eyes immediately lit up, a child on Christmas Day, and Jan knew she had appointed the right woman for the job. 

_“Finally-_ ” Nicky groaned, throwing her hands up. “- a job around here that utilises some of my real talents!”

Jan clapped her hands together when Nicky reached up and excitedly pried her phone from her hands, hurriedly flicking between Jan's screenshotted choices with the intense gaze of a woman committed to her job (it was just too bad it wasn't her _real_ job). Willing herself not to look over, Jan could feel Jackie’s stare. It seared against her skin, and she made a point to bend over and lean against the arm of the sofa, acting as though it was simply to get a closer look at the small phone screen and not to give Jackie a complete eyeful of the curve of her ass.

Thank _god_ for pencil skirts. 

“So...there’s the mint, the light purple, the baby blue and the pink.” Jan mused, pointing to each one as Nicky swiped through the photos. 

_“Salope.”_ Nicky playfully gasped when she came to the baby blue set, lacy and as sexy as Jan could find, complete with high waisted panties, stockings and suspenders. Jan knew the colour would be soft against her hips and thighs, and it already waited in her virtual basket - but for the plan to work she had to seem quizzical about the issue. So, she continued to furrow her brow and nodded ditzily, as though she hadn’t imagined how it would feel for Jackie to snap the waistband of the underwear against her skin. “You _have_ to get this one-”

Jan hummed in hushed agreement, a fizzy feeling of anticipation being coaxed from the tips of her toes as she became more and more tempted to peek over and see if Jackie was listening to their conversation. If Jan was anything, it was an optimist, so she imagined that she might have reduced the news anchor to at least a faint blush. Maybe a little speechlessness, but that might only come once she turned around so that Jackie could get a clear view of her cleavage in her tight blouse. She’d loosely waved her hair that morning too, and dealing with it in the wind when it stuck irritably to her lip gloss was beyond worth it for the full effect of the look.

Could she be considered a little too sexy for pre-watershed television? Maybe, but she would just do up the top button on her blouse and hope nobody noticed anything different. 

Nicky was still talking, and Jan blinked a couple of times as she tuned back in, catching onto her debating between the pretty mint green and the incredibly Jan brand of soft purple. Seeing her opportunity, Jan snatched the phone from Nicky’s hands, ignoring her relentless complaints in response, and plonked herself down on the other sofa beside Jackie who had her eyes firmly trained in on her iPad. Jan wondered if she had even been listening at all, but she didn’t let it stop her.

“Jackie?”

Jan cleared her throat, and Jackie looked a little bit like a deer caught in headlights.

“Wanna help me out?” She chirped, trying not to seem too giddy and tilting her head to the side.

“That depends what with.” Jackie popped her iPad aside, looking a little guarded as she did, as if she wasn’t prepared for whatever Jan was about to ask. 

Without warning, Jan shoved the phone at Jackie and scooted up on the sofa so that she was practically pressed against her, close enough so their perfumes could mingle. Jackie seemed to be holding her breath, and it took a few seconds before she gently took the phone from Jan’s hands. 

“I need your help. Nicky likes the blue, but we can’t decide between the purple and the green.” Jan pouted her lips and frowned, swiping between the two sets in question for her. Jackie didn’t answer, lips slightly parted as she seemed to take in what was on the screen. “Which one do you think would suit me better?”

“I-uh- I think you’d suit both of them.” Jackie stammered, and _that_ was an excellent sign.

“Jackie that’s not the point, a doll’s got a budget.” Jan snorted, twirling a blonde curl around her finger as she continued. “This one’s a thong and this one’s full briefs-”

Jan knew that she was laying it on thick, but if that was the way she had to play it then so be it. It helped that she was having quite a lot of fun too.

“Jan-” Jackie cleared her throat like she was about to give Jan a warning. She sounded as though she was about to say something completely different, but seemed to collect herself, calmly breathing out her next words. “You should get the ones with different bottoms to the ones you've already chosen.”

“So...the thong in purple.” Jan confirmed and plucked the phone back from her grip, beaming over at Jackie, practically batting her lashes by now as she sang her next words. “Thanks, Jacks!”

Jackie merely nodded, deftly jumping up from the sofa in a way that made Jan reel back slightly in surprise. She muttered something about having work to do, making Jan narrow her eyes at Jackie’s back and smirk a little. When she turned her head, Nicky, who had watched the whole debacle, was looking incredibly impressed from where she was sitting. Jan simply gestured in the direction Jackie had fled before breaking the silence she had left in her wake.

“Was it something I said?” She asked innocently, but her butter-couldn’t-melt expression quickly turned indecent as she flopped back onto the cushions properly and cackled in triumph. Nicky laughed with her, shaking her head.

“Janice, that was _art.”_ Nicky complimented her, inspecting her freshly manicured nails that were painted in a deep red before giving Jan a small round of applause. "Pure art."

“Wasn’t it?” Jan had to hush her voice to stop herself from shrieking with sheer adrenaline, taking a few deep breaths to centre herself with all the dramatics of a pre-show warm up.

“You’re a bad girl.” Nicky tutted and took a drink from her can of diet coke, her smirk still evident even as she gulped it down. “Poor Jacqueline.”

Jackie didn’t walk home with Jan that evening. She’d rushed off, quick on her heels to escape the dodgy air conditioning of their building in favour of the equally uncomfortable humidity of the city. Jan could only hope that she’d stirred a different kind of heat for Jackie, and that she had kept it with her.

Jan didn’t mind the solitary journey home so much, she was too busy concocting her next move. Today’s game play gave her confidence, the upper hand, and she wasn’t oblivious enough to think that Jackie was avoiding her because she didn’t want her. She was almost certain that it was the opposite. As soon as she had spied the burning of her cheeks, the way her voice stuttered, Jan knew she had gotten somewhere.

As she was in the elevator, descending the glass floors, Jan tapped hurriedly against her phone screen. She brought up her saved web page and pressed ‘pay now’. She might not have needed help to pick after all, but her plan had worked perfectly. She deserved the treat. 

****

**Nicky:**

_Have you fucked our dear Jacqueline yet mon amour?_

**Jan:**

_Omg Nicky 🙈_

_But no, I haven’t!!_

**Nicky:**

_Oohhh she’s a shy one, but she’s definitely interested. After the other day SHE HAS TO BE?_

_Maybe you need to be a bit more in her face…_

**Jan:**

_I feel like I’ve done everything short of stripping naked in front of her after what happened in the kitchen!!_

**Nicky:**

_You’re laughing, but maybe that’s the answer 😏_

_****_

Jaida and Nicky were constellations.

Secure in the sky.

They let Jan join as if she had always shone there with them.

They were better friends than Jan could have ever expected. They got along with everybody for the most part but stuck together like glue, offering Jan an easy glide into being friendly and familiar with everybody but still _belonging_ to something more remote. They welcomed her into easy banter with Yvie from IT and introduced her to Mr Charles’ PA, Asia, who always made a point of coming over to see Jaida whenever she dropped by. Jan felt like she was a part of something bigger whilst being safely cocooned.

It helped that Jackie was outside of that cocoon. It made talking about her feel less dangerous, and she could be far more honest. Maybe that was why Jaida and Nicky failed to talk about eachother, but on this particular day, Nicky was out of the office.

“J?” Jan pounced on her chance to bring it up _,_ the thing they didn't talk about.

“Mmm?” Jaida let her gaze hit Jan momentarily, barely stopping her flow of concentration.

“Sweetie.” Jan figured some sugar coating might lure Jaida into a false sense of security, but she gave up on that approach as soon as she saw suspicion in the woman’s dark eyes. So, she went straight in for the kill instead. “What happened with Nicky?”

This stopped Jaida in her tracks, made her sigh, made her undoubtedly scramble for a reason to leave. Once she figured out that she couldn’t find one, she finally indulged Jan with an answer. One that was incredibly dissatisfying.

“I see Nicky every single day.” She said offhandedly, shaking her head, stalling for all it was worth. “Be more specific.”

These bitches were infuriating, but Jan wasn’t one to give up. She wasn’t subtle in her endeavours, not like Lemon who could charm information from you with sticky sweet words you got a sugar rush for. Jan was more like a bull in a china shop, shattering ornaments and apologising endlessly until you gave up and let her have whatever she wanted just to get rid of her. She huffed dramatically, sassily resting her chin in her palm as she zeroed in on Jaida. 

She wasn’t going to be the only person here with lesbian drama.

“At the party- The event- _Whatever_ it’s called-” Jan clacked her nails against the table with her free hand, pursing her lips. When Jaida offered her nothing, Jan's brown eyes widened and she let out a short but exasperated groan. “Spill, gorg!”

Jaida sighed, narrowing her eyes at Jan and taking a sip from the flat white that had been cooling on her desk. She seemed to take a moment of consideration, picking her words carefully, before deciding to indulge her. 

“We slept together after the party last year. That’s it, nothing else to tell.”

“Do you like her? Does she like you?” Jan’s tone was snappy, excitable, it reflected her fidgety nature. She had slipped off her heels earlier in the day for comfort behind her desk, and was now able to clamber up into a cross legged position on her chair. She braced her hands on the desk to make it spin side to side as her eyes gleamed with the glee of gossip.

Jaida held a single finger up, warning Jan with a stern look. 

“Bitch, lemme tell you something.” She drew Jan in ever so slightly closer. “That girl disappears with _who knows_ every which weekend and I don’t have time for that kinda playing.”

“How do you know?” Jan pressed, cocking her head to the side ever so slightly. 

“Chile, I just _know.”_ Jaida’s murmur was hushed, barely audible. She was hurriedly writing something onto a post-it as she spoke.

“Do you think it could happen again?”

Jan loved love, she loved romance, she loved people being happy together. She wanted that for her friends. She saw the possibility of it. She noticed how sometimes their banter was exclusive, closed off, how it shifted everyone else to their peripheral vision. Jan didn't mind so much, she nodded and laughed along, but never pushed her way in when it felt like this. They wouldn't have minded and would never exclude anyone - especially not Jan - but interfering with exchanges that felt so specifically made for two felt wrong. Jan refused to force herself into their sacrosanct mould, their private looks that cemented themselves into their chats.

“Don’t you have work to do?” Jaida remarked, sadly not sharing Jan's same predilection for the pursuit of romance.

So, Jan finally acquiesced, sitting back in her chair. She continued to watch Jaida with a gentle grin, and felt satisfied that whatever investigation she had begun here would get the chance to continue.

Maybe she would just have to keep a closer eye on them.

_****_

It was Friday and Jan had no plans. Lemon was out for the night, schmoozing celebrities for their weird habits or favourite cocktails at a fancy work party, leaving Jan and Gus to vegetate on the sofa together. Gus had played and cuddled up to her for a while until he’d bored of her attention, favouring the pull of a pleasant snooze that left Jan feeling betrayed. Weren’t dogs supposed to be obsessed with you? Petulantly, she watched Gus snore as he took up Lemon’s usual spot on the sofa with a natural ease. 

Jan was bored out of her mind. 

She let out a loud sigh, as if anyone else were in the apartment to hear it, and let Tik Tok pull her into a regrettably addictive hole. Once she found herself hitting the pasta side of the app, she was quick to give up. Bare feet with soft pink toes padded against cold wooden floors as she sang freely on the way to her room, brown eyes widening when she spotted the highly anticipated package of lingerie sitting by the front door. Lemon must have left it there.

Suddenly, her Friday night plans became clear. Always one for setting the mood, Jan poured herself a large glass of rosé and decided on Ariana Grande’s Dangerous Woman album before her exclusive fashion show for one could start.

Some people might have called her dramatic, but she was adamant that creating the correct vibe was crucial for this kind of activity.

Jan started with the mint set, admiring how it looked in her full length mirror and freshening up her makeup so that she could get the full effect of what she’d bought for herself. She appreciated the way the floral notes of lace cupped her breasts and hummed in approval, momentarily checking out her ass. She and Lemon were complete enablers of each other's spending habits, constantly making online orders together and branding it as an aspect of their quality time. A few yellow pieces lay on her bed that she’d drop into Lemon’s room later, but for now it was time for the next set. 

She took a few photos in the blue with suspenders, feeling powerful, letting her hair tumble over one shoulder and drinking her wine in between getting her angles right. She sang along to the music, riffing loud and uninhibited, she could be as free as she wanted without Lemon throwing a stiletto at her door and yelling "shut up slut!", making them both break down in ridiculous peals of laughter. 

Jan changed again, clumsily shuffling into the lacy and delicate purple set, unsteady as she pulled the thong up and over her thighs.

 _"Fuck!"_ She stubbed her toe, cursing loudly at the pain and her own uncoordinated tendencies.

However, as the pain subsided, she figured that the ordeal was utterly worth it for how the set looked, grinning at her own reflection and concocting fearless ideas in her head.

She couldn’t.

Could she?

Her idea went beyond flirting in the office or trying to make sure her cleavage was tempting to that one particular person. Her idea was straight up bold and she didn’t even need words to do it. She continued to snap photos in the mirror, finding the right soft filter and changing to portrait mode so that she could compare the two. Sitting on the edge of her bed with one leg crossed over the other and her tummy soft as she hunched over to tap at her phone screen, Jan mulled over whether it mattered to show her ass in the photo - it was a thong after all - and realised that she was working in autopilot, hurtling towards the goal of her risky idea. Her mind was on one highly specific track, and it made the daring move far easier.

Jan’s stomach turned a little as she opened the chat with Jackie, and for a minute she didn’t think she had the nerve. She was about to firmly close the chat and change into her slouchy pyjamas before starting up a conversation with her about Gus or Jackie’s cat who was called something to do with a cloud? Jan couldn’t recall in the moment because she was too caught up in the ropes of what she was about to do, suspended in midair without the knowledge of if the journey downwards would make her hit concrete or something far softer. 

It was time to remind herself: _You're that bitch. That. Bitch._

Willing herself not to think, Jan moved into a cross legged position on the soft throw blanket that was draped over the lower half of her bed. This game had started on Instagram, over the phone, so surely this was just a natural extension of that. She took a deep breath, feeling the air fill her lungs and not letting it go until she picked two photos of herself clad in the purple lace. One was a view of the front, her head ever so slightly cocked to the side, and the other had her looking over her shoulder with her blonde waves resting prettily down her back. They sat there, waiting to go, and Jan pressed send.

**Jan:**

_Thank you SOOO much for your help the other day!! This is the one you picked. I hope you like it? 💜_

Jan squealed as soon as she sent it, and it took all of her self control not to hurl her phone across the room like it was a ticking time bomb. Gus probably heard her but he also probably didn’t care, too busy burying his nose into yellow blankets. The seven minutes before Jackie’s reply felt like hours, maybe even months, and Jan’s knuckles were white with the way she held her phone so tightly.

**Jackie:**

_OH MY GOD? JAN?!_

_Was this MEANT for me?_

**Jan:**

_Did you help me pick this lingerie the other day…?_

**Jackie:**

_Yes…_

**Jan:**

_Then, duh!! Yes it was meant for you_

_Don’t you like me in it? 🥺_

The space between this message and the next was longer, and Jan imagined that Jackie had scoffed and thrown her phone aside, above this kind of thing. Jan’s heart had almost plunged into the ground beneath her before her phone vibrated again and dissipated any of the mortified dread that had started to cloud her whole being. In lilacs and creams, she read Jackie's next words.

**Jackie:**

_OF COURSE I LIKE YOU IN IT?!_

_I mean you look AMAZING in it and anyone would be blind not to see that ❤️_

**Jan:**

_The thing is, I wanna know just how much YOU like me in it_

_Specifically you_

**Jackie:**

_Jan I really think you know_

**Jan:**

_Nope. Tell me._

**Jackie:**

_You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?_

**Jan:**

_Jackie I’ve been waiting for you to catch on for WEEKS…😫_

Jan was past subtlety, past dropping hints and batting her eyelashes and that had brought her _here_. She was toeing the line, biting her lip to the point of pain as she waited for Jackie to let her down gently or go in the direction she wanted.

**Jackie:**

_I don’t do this Jan!_

_I never do this kind of thing_

Jan felt her face heat up, the rope had snapped and she was hurtling downwards, she should have known that being let down gently was absolutely impossible when she was in this deep-

_But I don’t think I could ignore this if I tried?_

Jan’s eyes widened as she read Jackie’s follow up message, suspended in midair, breath caught in her throat. She fell back onto her bed and spread her arms out gleefully, letting out a relieved "Oh thank _god!"_ as she did so. She remained lying there as she typed on her phone, adrenaline making her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

**Jan:**

_Omg 🥺_

_I wasn’t imagining that this could be a thing?!_

**Jackie:**

_You weren’t imagining things_

_I’m sure you had fun torturing me the other day didn’t you?_

The vibration of the phone was as strong as the way Jan’s breath hitched in her throat, and she shuffled up her bed to lay her head down on the pillow. Curling up on her side, Jan bit her lip almost bruisingly as she considered where to take this next. 

**Jan:**

_It might have been kiiiiiinda fun 🤗_

**Jackie:**

_You’re such a little show off, aren’t you? And don’t think I didn’t notice the tighter skirts either, baby you were not subtle at all_

Oh. Jackie got bold. Jan rolled onto her front, unable to help squeezing her thighs together, when her phone buzzed again.

_Wait, was what I just said okay? Please tell me if you’re not comfortable???_

"Oh my god, Jackie..." Jan couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped her, unable to help her giggles as she buried her scorched face into one of her fluffy cream pillows. Of course Jackie would question herself after all of Jan’s flirting, goading, encouraging and coaxing. Of course Jackie would ask if it was okay. Of course Jackie wanted her to be comfortable. Jan's need for Jackie to desire her with a heat that was beyond the simple warmth she offered to others was as clear as day, and yet here she was, being ever so careful like always.

**Jan:**

_oh my GOD the only thing I am not comfortable with is if you stop!! Because Jackie that was HOT, please don’t stop?_

**Jackie:**

_Okay! Good! I got a little worried because I couldn’t see your reactions?!_

**Jan:**

_Jackie. I’m reeeeeally gonna need you to stop overthinking and start telling me what a little show off I am again. Okay? 😇_

And that was how it started.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE RESPONSE TO THE LAST CHAPTER WAS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND NEEDED HAHAHAHA honestly I knew it would make everyone feral and I feel so !!!! that the intended effect was gotten across. 
> 
> Here, have some inner turmoil from Jackie and see how they deal with the new place they've found themselves in!! Spoilers: they're idiots!
> 
> Come scream at me @alittle-bitcloser on tumblr thank you as always!!

Jackie was panicking.

This wasn’t exactly the shocker of the century, but her reason for panicking certainly felt like it.

Was this sexting? 

This definitely counted as sexting. 

A woman sending photos of herself in lingerie late on a Friday night was most definitely a sexting kind of situation. 

Clad in her loose fitting pyjamas that weren’t matching but soft all the same, Jackie had been chattering on facetime to her friend Kizha when she’d spotted the notification. She really had intended on letting her call come to its natural close before she checked her texts. But this was Jan. And Jackie had found that she was bad at making Jan wait for her replies.

In the end, Jackie opted for a compromise: she would check the messages now to ease her curiosities  _ but  _ only reply once she’d finished up with Kizha. It was only fair. In theory, this felt like a simple plan, but theory was rarely an accurate measure for reality. She opened her macbook, propping her phone - and ultimately, Kizha’s face - up against the screen. 

She casually opened up her iMessages on the laptop and suddenly nothing was casual at all-

\- because Jan, clad only in lacy and purple lingerie, was staring at her.

“...Jackie?” Kizha frowned, gazing at her through the screen questioningly. If Jackie wasn’t so shocked, she could have laughed at the sight of her own startled expression. 

“Yeah, um, can I call you back? I’ve gotta deal with something.” Jackie deftly excused herself, feeling the slightest bit guilty for how serious it might have sounded and the worry it might have risen in her friend. To her relief, Kizha immediately let her go, with the simple plea that she should text if she needed anything. 

And as much as Jackie appreciated that sentiment, somehow, she knew this wasn’t the kind of situation that Kizha could help her out with. 

She slammed her laptop shut, banishing to the shelf below her coffee table before moving back to her phone. Unsurprisingly, the smaller screen did nothing to reduce the effect the photos were having on her. Her mouth was dry and the lace looked soft and Jan’s thighs looked like they’d feel amazing bracketed around her waist-

_ Stop.  _

Perching comfortably and halting her thoughts, Jackie sat cross legged on her armchair, biting her lip nervously as she took her time in texting Jan back. After a few minutes of floundering for a response, Jackie hauled herself back to some ounce of rational thinking.

She considered a number of different avenues, ever the overthinker: she could text back an oblivious, platonic sounding compliment like  _ oh that’s so pretty! _ and leave it there, she could tell her the truth which was that the set definitely looked sexy but would look even better off, or she could be completely shocked and ask whether it was meant for her. 

Jackie favoured the latter, and so that’s what she did. As they texted back and forth, Jackie shifted her position at least five times, going from crossed legs and making her way slowly towards draping herself over the armchair with her legs dangling over the side. The heels of her feet kicked against the side of the chair anxiously until she gained the nerve to type:

_ I don’t do this Jan _

_ I never do this kind of thing! _

_ But I don’t think I could ignore this if I tried? _

She pressed send. 

Drowning in reds and ambers, the burning of Jackie’s table lamp quickly became the blazing of her cheeks. The sudden heat migrated lower as she became bolder, teasing Jan about being such a show-off (which she absolutely was), and she began to restlessly shift her hips where she lay. Her heart battered, clanging incessantly against the doors of her ribcage as Jan confirmed that she wanted Jackie to continue, consenting that this feeling between them was definitely going both ways and that it was time to bring it up. 

Jackie swallowed thickly as they batted flirtations back and forth until suddenly they were in new territories. The kind that created overwhelming images in her head of the way Jan described herself being laid on her front, the sheets gathering between her legs. Jackie wanted to run her hands up the expanse of skin from her ass to the smooth dipped valley of her spine and then all the way back down again. She would watch the slight dig of her crimson nails create indentations into silk skin.

As if to test it, she scraped her nails over her hip, the skin that dipped underneath her soft pyjama bottoms, as Jan became emboldened on the screen. It was like she could see Jackie’s touches urging her on, her cheeky tone prevalent until it became softened by desperation, coming through drip by drip.

**Jan:**

_ Jackie please _

_ I can’t stop thinking about your fingers _

Jackie groaned, low in her throat. Jan’s texts were becoming shorter and she didn’t have to tell Jackie that she was touching herself for her to know that was the case. She didn’t feel the need to ask, instead smirking when she told Jan to imagine that it was her, detailing how she would curl her fingers inside her to make her moan so prettily, ordering her to say her name as she came. Jan was obedient as ever once the heat between them had surpassed boiling point, leaving the princess act at the door in favour of pleasing Jackie.

Jan surprised her. She kept coming back with more,  _ for more _ , pulling at the tethers of Jackie with promises of her tongue and touches, until the threads snapped and she came apart at the seams of herself.

That weekend, Jan became more than just her name, and it happened every night. Under the evening light, Jackie indulged in calling her baby as she strung typed words together about how good she would taste, saying she was a good girl when Jan confirmed that she came saying Jackie’s name. It didn’t matter who started it, but one of them would tentatively nudge their way into the other’s notifications, suggestive and expectant. 

And the other would willingly follow every single time.

They didn’t talk about work or their circumstances, or even the fact that they were only ten blocks away from one another as they imagined each other's touches skating across their bodies. Jackie could have walked to her in fifteen minutes, taken what Jan kept saying was hers, but she never did. She stayed confined to her own sheets, entwined in the expensive Egyptian cotton she had bought with one of her first decent pay cheques, and settled for calling Jan’s name as she rubbed circular motions against her clit until she had no breath left in her. 

Afterwards, like clockwork, Jackie would pull on her robe and pad into the bathroom to shower away the leftover sticky heat and lingering wetness. She would pass Nimbus on her way who would meow for her attention. Jackie felt like he was telling her to stop this ridiculous situation in its tracks before it could get out of hand, and she would drop to her knees to scratch his head affectionately. 

It stopped his mewls of judgement and for that she was grateful.

****

Monday ruptured whatever spell had been cast over the weekend, and they travelled into work fragmented.

Jackie had her head ducked as she worked, trying to give off the impression that absolutely no one should disturb her right now. She had come in early, wanting a distraction from the fact her apartment felt like it harboured an illicit secret, and in the moment, work seemed to be the best escape from that. The world was a shambles, and surely researching and writing her stories around all of the awful things going on would be the perfect way to stop imagining unhooking Jan’s bra.

Well.

It  _ was _ perfect, until Jackie’s illicit secret joyfully skipped into the office without enough sense to be as embarrassed as she was.

“Good morning, Jackie!” Jan chirped, peppy as ever with a spring in her step as she sipped at a creamy looking frappuccino and paused by her desk. She looked a little too smug for Jackie’s liking, and she couldn’t understand how Jan was managing to look her directly in the eye after explicitly detailing what she wanted to do to her the night before. 

And the night before that.

And the night before that.

“Good morning,” Jackie tried her best to be perfectly composed, complete with a small smile on her face. She gripped her pen with a little too much force when Jan confidently perched herself on the edge of her desk, brown eyes twinkling and goading Jackie to say something. When she didn’t, Jan spoke again.

“What did you do this weekend?”

Jackie’s knuckles were white, and she wouldn’t have been surprised if the pen snapped in two.

“Nothing worth mentioning, what about you?”

“I went shopping with my roommate.” Jan shrugged, tossing her hair over her shoulder as their eyes met in some sort of unspoken agreement to keep things exactly that: unspoken. “That’s about it. See you on the air?”

Jackie merely nodded, not finding the need for words, which it was ironic considering that words were the very thing tying them together so tightly. She felt like their texts didn’t exist in this space, so when Jan started to flirtily bat her eyes on live television, Jackie was knocked for six. It was a far cry from the woman who had dropped her clicker and stammered her way through a forecast because Jackie complimented her. Jan had found an undeniably sexy confidence, and Jackie was helpless for it. 

Irritatingly, Jan seemed to know that.

“Thank you, Jackie! I love that colour on you today, it really makes your eyes pop.” Jan didn’t miss a beat, beaming prettily and segueing smoothly into chattering about hurricane season. Jackie thanked Jan cordially, cool and collected. 

She let her gaze migrate to her ever so nosy co-anchor. Chelsea looked professional, poised and unbothered on the surface, but Jackie knew her all too well and the look in her eyes said that she wasn’t going to allow Jackie to sweep Jan’s little comment under the rug.

Unsurprisingly, the minute they were off the air, Chelsea pounced.

“She’s  _ flirting  _ with you.” Chelsea exclaimed in hushed tones, leaning over the newsdesk on her forearms and banging her palms against the hard surface. “ _ She. Wants. You.  _ She wants to move out of your weird texting phase!”

“Oh, we’re out of  _ that, _ we have a...banter.” Jackie finished lamely, hating her choice of words but not knowing how else to protect what was really going on. That the night before they had described Jackie fucking Jan up against a wall. “What’s your point?”

“My point is you’ve been obsessed with her since day one and should return the flirting. Don’t make her put in all the effort! Do I really need to spell it out for you?” Jackie was about to answer her when Chelsea began swatting her on the arm excitedly and began again.

“Jackie!  _ Jackie!”  _ Chelsea was tapping her incessantly at this point. “The awards!”

“What about them?”

“That’s where you should make your move.” Chelsea was firm, her voice had a positively frightening lilt that said she thought that she was somehow Jackie’s fairy godmother.

“Oh my god…” Her chuckle was nervous, gaze averted, fixed on the teleprompter that was no longer on. “I thought I told you that I don’t mix work with pleasure?” 

Jackie was making herself cringe, lies didn’t fall easily from her tongue and every single one she told felt like nails being dragged down a blackboard. It felt deafening.

“Honey, that went out the window the minute you started freaking out about walking home with her.” 

For a moment, Jackie considered telling Chelsea everything, she really did, but the sight of Jan clacking past in her heels without even a second glance in her direction made the choice for her. She bit down hard on her lower lip to stop the unrelenting urge to unravel the secrecy from where it lay heavily within her chest.

Despite her tough and robust interview style, Jackie had always been somewhat of an onscreen sweetheart. Early in her career, she had shared an interview slot with Bob. The clip of her losing her temper onscreen at the Republican interviewee and saying ‘eff’ instead of ‘fuck’ did wonders for her darling image, it consolidated it, marbelised it. The tabloids that hated her were too right-wing for her to care, and she felt like she was sitting on the right side of history. 

Jackie had always held who she was close to her heart even before she was allowed to do so. Her sexuality wasn’t a secret as such, but it was also something she hadn’t publicly addressed. Years and years of baggage sat at her door - maybe even the door of her family home, she ignored the mounting luggage when she had moved to New York with hurried goodbyes - and  _ this _ would be a complete scandal if it got out. Jan’s image was only just being curated, and she was doing a damn good job of it.

The thought of it going public brought the incessant humidity outside to a stop, made it hammer down with desperately needed rain both in the streets and within Jackie’s clouded mind. Even Jan hadn’t seen that coming, and that’s exactly what scared Jackie.

Jan was so fresh to the job, she didn’t need some juicy newsroom lesbian controversy, and Jackie herself had a squeaky clean reputation that she took painstaking care of. It distressed Jackie immensely to think of it endangering their careers

but

she found that the alternative option of stopping whatever they were doing felt nothing short of paralysing. 

****

**Jan:**

_ Are you busy?? _

**Jackie:**

_ What do you think? _

**Jan:**

_ I think you have all the time in the world right now to think about me eating you out under the news desk?? _

**Jackie:**

_ You would be absolutely right, oh my god _

**Jan:**

_ Bonus points if we’re on the air 😏 _

**Jackie:**

_ You truly are something else _

_ **** _

Sometimes, after they had tangled themselves up in indulgent fantasies and cotton sheets, Jackie would talk to Jan into the night. It was their own odd version of pillowtalk. Jan loved to send ridiculous reaction photos that made Jackie chuckle into her pillow. Nimbus would warm her side while Jan would warm her from the inside out. Sometimes Jan voicenoted her silly stories, and Jackie could indulge in her nasal giggles that she tried to keep quiet for the benefit of her sleeping roommate just one wall over. Once or twice, she told Jackie off for making her laugh too loud.

**Jan:**

_ I wish you were here  _

This was new, brand new, and Jackie sighed at the sight of it. The words bloomed a comfort in her stomach and a yearning in her chest as she turned onto her side and bunched the duvet up against her. She cuddled it up to her front, rolling her eyes at how pathetic this was. The bed felt big, spacious, too much for one person to occupy. 

**Jan:**

_ Was that too much?? 🙈 _

**Jackie:**

_ Of course not _

_ I feel the same ❤️ _

Jackie knew that was a cop out, to simply mirror Jan’s feelings for her, but it wasn’t a lie. She was articulate and always had been, but there was something about Jan that knocked the wind out of her and stole the autonomy of her voice. Jan seemed to find it much easier than Jackie to confess something that was as light as a feather and heavy as an anchor all at once, she spelled out what she wanted clear as day whether it was using lingerie or a simple text message.

Jackie had never been like that. 

She was tentative and thoughtful. Even as a child, during swimming lessons she would always stand at the edge of the pool for a little while longer after everyone else had dived in, unsure of the plunge she was about to take. The water was always much too cold when she hit it, and that taught her to always think before acting. She just might have taken that notion a little  _ too  _ seriously, and by the time she had realised she was a serial overthinker it was far too late to take it back. 

**Jan:**

_ You could just come here, it’s not like it’s far 🙄 _

Jackie chewed on the inside of her cheek, closing her eyes tight for a moment. Hopefully she could open them again and be with Jan. The plunge without the impact, the risk without stepping off the ledge. 

But it didn’t work like that.

So, instead, Jackie put her phone aside and feigned sleep. Her mind was much too active, racing even, but if she closed her eyes for long enough maybe she would believe it too.

****

Courtney liked to hold traditional pre-drinks before the annual network awards, and she had done so every year since she started working there. As with most Manhattan apartments, her place wasn’t big by any means, so she only invited those she knew the very best. Chelsea and Jackie earned their first invites two years back and had been involved ever since. They sat squashed up beside each other, Jackie’s deep blue evening gown against Chelsea’s rose gold.

Jackie liked Courtney a lot, immediately warming to her welcoming demeanor and sweet Aussie tones. She didn’t warm to her partner in crime quite as quickly, but always found Willam to be more amenable when Courtney was on her arm. They populated Courtney’s small living room, ‘they’ being Adore, Bob, Monét, Willam, Chelsea and Jackie. Courtney buzzed around them like a bee caught in a glass, constantly refilling glasses and pouring bags of crisps and popcorn into large bowls.

“I invited Jan, I thought it was a nice thing to do after her rocky start,” Courtney began, shrugging a little as she sipped on her glass of fizz. Her acrylic nails looked perfect against her glass. “But she said something about getting ready with her plus one.”

“We’re missing Little Miss Sunshine? What a shame.” Willam laughed crudely, and rolled her eyes upon meeting Jackie’s stony gaze. “Calm down, protection squad. I’m kidding.”

Bob scoffed from where she sat on the corner of a couch, elegant and statuesque in her sheer black gown, drawing Willam’s attention.

“Oh come on, you like Jan, admit it.” Bob pressed, her grin huge. She elbowed Monét, floor manager and the reason every news broadcast ran so smoothly, alerting her from her phone to watch the way Willam rolled her eyes. They didn’t see her face as much, she kept herself stuck to the crew, but she and Bob had a strong rapport. Nobody was ever sure if they completely hated or completely adored each other.

“You’re an asshole and I like her more than you, happy now?” Willam’s tone was sardonic and she underlined it with a gulp of her drink.

“As a matter of fact, Barbie, I’m thrilled.” Bob looked entirely accomplished, only faltering when Monét opened her mouth.

“Wait, Willam I think I finally agree with you on something.” Willam raised an eyebrow at Monét when she spoke, prompting her to continue. “Bob  _ is  _ an asshole.”

Any tension that had been present completely dissipated, evaporated into the air and fizzled out with champagne drenched laughter, Bob’s being the loudest of all. Jackie was uncharacteristically quiet, busying her teeth with her cuticles until Chelsea nudged her to stop. It was strange that she wasn't giving her two cents to the conversation, usually always one to get in a sneaky jab.

It was just that she and Jan hadn’t spoken since things had become gentler between them, and Jan had acknowledged how easy it would be to actually share a bed. It was like a pebble had been dropped into a body of water and created the smallest of ripples. It was just that Jackie was feeling it like a tidal wave.

She felt as though they’d hit a stalemate, and that the turning point was either the path that progressed them forward or the one that stopped this completely. There wasn’t exactly a path for the odd situationship they had found themselves in, and in her heart, Jackie knew that Jan deserved better than it.

“Jackie, right?” Adore was standing over her, holding out a shot that was an alarming shade of green. She was a pretty good intern, if a little obnoxious sometimes, but Courtney warmed to her as if she was her little sister as early as her very first day. “You look like you could use this.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a fuckin’ shot, that’s all you need to know. You look like you need it.” Adore wiggled her eyebrows, her laugh booming yet endearing all at once. “ _ Drink.” _

Jackie shrugged. 

_ Oh, what the hell.  _

She stood and gave Adore a grateful smile before knocking it back, earning enthusiastic cheers from those around her.

“Get it down you, girl!” Courtney hollered, clapping her hands together and squealing before linking her fingers with Willam’s and tugging her insistently into the kitchen.

Jackie felt an affectionate clap on her back that must have been Chelsea, and she let that propel her into the rest of the evening. Fuelled by alcohol and the energy of those around her, Jackie pushed the thought of seeing Jan to the very back of her mind. She tucked it away with care, neat and tidy, with the intention of keeping it safe. She leant into the confident side to herself, the bossy woman who snapped various photos of the girls before setting her phone up on a timer for a group one. 

This was chaotic to say the least. 

Jackie found herself doubling over with laughter as Bob insisted on pushing Courtney over so that she lost her balance where she was perched on the arm of a chair, and Willam let herself fall back onto the sofa with snorts of obnoxious laughter at the sight. By now, Adore was questionable levels of drunk. Jackie was left wondering whether she would even be allowed into the event after all, but Monét forced some water down her throat before they closed the door behind them. 

Unsurprisingly, Jackie and Chelsea were the ones to usher everyone out. Leaders in every sense of the word whether it was on TV or in private.

“Go, go, go!” Chelsea’s voice was staccato as she practically pushed them onto the street. She had ordered one Uber and Jackie ordered the other. Before they took the front seats in their respective cars, Chelsea shot her a desperate look and a mouthed “help!” as she listened to Adore slurring her words. Jackie simply snorted and thought  _ good luck _ before closing the car door behind her.

Thankfully, the ride was short, and by the time their cars pulled up outside the hotel by Grand Central, Chelsea was back by her side and muttering something about Adore nearly throwing up on the way. Chelsea pulled Jackie by the elbow up the stairs and insidel, smacking her on the arm when she dared to chuckle at her misfortune. 

“I had to deal with Bob and Monét-” Jackie reasoned, shooting her friend a grin as they walk.

“I’d take their fucking weird sibling rivalry over puke any day.” Chelsea couldn’t help smirking as she rolled her eyes, but she was quickly stunned and let out a low whistle at the extensive decor in the room named the ‘Empire State Ballroom’. “Holy shit, the budget was big this year.”

“Well. All the money they don’t spend on our shitty little kitchen, they can spend on this right?” Jackie muttered in response, gratefully taking a glass of champagne from a waiter with a tray of six. 

The lighting was dim and rosy, pinks and blues blended into the white plush tables and crisp uniforms that adorned every waiter. The string quartet was quiet but melodic, utterly background to the laughter and discussion that enveloped Jackie in a symphony of voices both familiar and not. She located some of the news girls, spotted around tables in their groups, and Kim gave her a small wave from where she was bundled into a corner with Naomi. Jaida and Nicky’s heads were close as they talked to one another in hushed tones, the intensity of it scorching her even with the distance Jackie had from them. She brushed her hands down the deep blue of her floor length gown as if it would ease the burn.

The dark blue of her own dress wasn’t cool enough to ease the burn, it couldn’t extinguish the blaze, but then it was well and truly put out by a floaty and pale azure.

_ Jan. _

For someone with so much brash energy, she had never looked more delicate. Her blonde tresses fell over her shoulders in waves, and suddenly Jackie wasn’t afraid of jumping into water anymore. Her cackle worked at odds with the soft floral tulle that gathered at her waist and flowed to her knees, making the tide of her waters rough and exciting. She tumbled momentarily on her heels, using her sparkly friend for balance and snorting with laughter, and together they looked like a sunrise.

She had stared for much too long, but before she could look away, Jan turned. 

To Jackie’s immense relief, she gave her the softest of smiles.

  
  



	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO no but seriously this is where you guys see exactly what transpires at the big event we've been waiting for. Will our girls get their shit together? Unlikely. Will it happen soon? Well we're at 6/8 so I'm planning on it.
> 
> ENJOY BABIES

Whenever Jan and Lemon got ready together, it was like a bomb had gone off in their apartment. 

Oddly, that was just the way they liked it.

They added to their Spotify queue. Rihanna was followed by Lady Gaga followed by City Girls followed by The Pussycat Dolls, and that was intertwined with a barrage of:

“I hate this lip.” / “Here doll, try this,”

“These earrings or these?” / “The second, they go better with the clips in your hair.”

“Gorg, don’t leave the curling iron down there!” / “My bad!”

Jan had said they should make margaritas, but neither of them had been to the store, so cans of Whiteclaw would have to do the job. They both gulped them down without complaint, and Lemon dug chaotically through her closet as Jan reminded her of her role for the hundredth time that day.

“You’re my buffer, Lem. Got it?” Jan remarked, quirking her brow in what she hoped was a stern expression.

“You think I could stop you from being an idiot in front of your ‘girlfriend’ after you’ve been drinking?” Lemon scoffed, her voice muffled from where she was enclosed within the material her many dresses. “You’ve got a whole lotta faith in me there, bitch.”

Lemon’s voice was drawling, she dragged out the word _whole_ as though it lasted forever. Lipstick stained the metal straw poking out of her can. She emerged in a silver, sparkly mini dress that gathered at the neckline with a hem that brushed her thighs. Her long hair flowed straight down her back, and she was in the process of snapping matching diamante clips into her bright tresses.

“You have to at least _try,_ that’s why you’re my plus one in the first place-” Jan hit back, exasperated as she smacked her lips in the mirror. “To...buffer my behaviour around Jackie.”

“Whatever, I’ll try my best.” Lemon rolled her eyes and strolled over to where Jan’s dress flowed prettily on its hanger, the picture of delicacy. It was floral, tulle and dreamy, the bodice one that would frame Jan’s shape perfectly before the skirt flowed to the spots just above her knees. Lemon fingered the skirt, pursing her lips as she admired it. “Do you think I went too slutty?”

“ _No_ \- this is like, quintessential Lemon.” Jan gestured off-handedly to the sparkles that reflected the light of her fairy lights before joining her on the other side of the dress. She took it down, immediately pulling off her robe so that she could get dressed. Lemon had seen her in all states, her in her underwear was nothing new. “You look _gorg.”_

Lemon helped Jan zip up her dress, and they grinned toothily at eachother to check for lipstick stains on their teeth. They added their finishing touches. For Jan, that was highlighter to her cheekbones and some hairspray to her flowy curls. For Lemon, that was large drop earrings that matched the clips in her hair and the choker she wore. 

Heels clacked against aged wooden flooring, undoubtedly scratching it up even more, and Jan rolled her eyes as she pulled on a jacket and watched Lemon procrastinate by bidding Gus goodbye.

“Bye bye, my little _baby-”_ She cooed, scratching behind his ears and laughing with glee when he rolled onto his back for tummy rubs. 

Of course, she gave them.

Jan sighed and grabbed Lemon’s signature fluffy yellow coat, waiting a few more seconds before she started feeling like a third wheel. When the time was right, she threw the coat at Lemon. Despite her usually bad aim, it hit her right in the face and caused her to whine about getting lipgloss on the fur.

“I don’t care, doll, we gotta _go.”_ Jan grabbed her roommate by the arm, practically pulling her outside where the Uber sat waiting for them.

“You think he’ll let me play Rihanna?-” Lemon questioned as they hit the sidewalk, and Jan couldn’t help but cackle in response.

“Just get in the damn car.”

****

The girls held hands as they walked up the steps and into the stylish hotel, all glass and reflections, with Lemon chattering on that she knew the place like the back of her hand because of VIP cocktail hours here and there. Jan half listened, made sure she was nodding and humming at the correct moments, as she took in the grand surroundings. As soon as they were directed into the grand Empire State Ballroom, her eyes opened up wide in wonder and a glass of champagne was thrust into her hand.

“Bitch, this is the good stuff-” Lemon hummed and elbowed her, taking a huge gulp of her golden fizz as they walked.

Before Jan could give Lemon a response, she spotted her. 

Jackie looked like a classic beauty, lips red and her hair in vintage style waves. They fell over one shoulder and hid one of her large earrings, her deep brown locks sitting comfortably on the royal blue of her floor length dress. Jan hadn’t expected this from her, used to seeing block coloured blazers and strong shoulders, but here she looked far more delicate. Jan was ready to be irritated at her, even petulant with her for ignoring what she had said about how _easy_ it would have been for them to bridge the ten block gap between their apartments, but now that she was confronted with her-

\- Jan was scared to break her.

So, Jan gave her what she could in that moment. A soft smile.

“Jan, _doll,_ someone’s waving at us-” Lemon tapped her shoulder, holding two more full glasses and pushing one into Jan’s hand for when she had finished her first. 

_When the hell did she get those?_

Jan figured it would be silly to argue, so she sunk the rest of her first drink and popped the empty glass onto a passing tray.

The person waving was Nicky. Jaida stood by her, nursing a large glass of white wine. She looked thoughtful and pensive until she noticed what Nicky was doing, and plastered an enthusiastic smile onto her face. Jan hoped they had talked, and that the outcome was positive. 

Nicky beckoned them over, and Jan immediately noted that she had completely ignored the dress picks she had suggested all those weeks ago. Usually she might be a brat about it, poke fun and make self deprecating jokes about her own lack of style, but she couldn’t fault Nicky for it because she looked flawless. Her choice of dark lip with a white pantsuit that cinched her waist perfectly seemed the obvious choice. Jan couldn’t even remember what her original picks had been, and she didn’t care to. 

When Jan saw that Jaida’s ensemble complimented Nicky perfectly, it took all of her might not to comment that they looked like a couple. Her trousers were an indigo, and her blouse ruffled to merge with the spirals of her hair. If Jan was honest, they looked utterly powerful together.

“Janice!” Nicky eagerly pulled her in for a kiss on each cheek, and did the same to Lemon whilst quietly asking her name. “You’re a shoo-in for best newcomer, ma cherié”

Nicky had an almost constant physical tether to Jaida, a hand resting on her arm or ghosting against her lower back. She seemed happy, her voice were the raspberries in the chambord of her drink and her skin was the patchouli and sandalwood of her signature scent.

“Ya’ll know I voted, bitch!” Jaida exclaimed, pulling her in for a clumsy cuddle that spoke volumes about the amount of alcohol she had already consumed. 

“You look _beautiful,_ really guys.” Jan gushed as she pulled back from the hug and took both of them in, giving Jaida’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“You look like a princess,” Nicky remarked, and then leaned in with a smirk, lowering her voice. “Have you seen her yet?”

“Oh my _god,_ is this about Jackie? Where is she?” Lemon cut in, bouncing on her heels to gain some height over the heads of people and looking around hurriedly with all the subtlety of sirens blaring down Sixth Avenue.

Jan rolled her eyes but grinned all the same, simultaneously cringing at and enjoying the attention on her little situation. She felt giddy, and as the girls chatted around her, she couldn’t be sure whether it was from the drinks or the girls-at-a-sleepover vibe they had going on. As lights darkened and hushed the room, they took themselves to plush seats at a free table where they could watch awards being given out. For the most part, they chatted if they didn’t know the person onstage, and talked (mostly) harmless shit about them to Lemon who mostly tapped away at her phone. Jan didn’t ask her to stop. She couldn’t blame her. Lemon was removed from this, there only to enjoy the buzz and - more importantly - keep an eye on Jan. 

Lemon’s attention was only dragged away from her small screen at the sound of a frenzied voice exclaiming “I’m _rich!”_ into the microphone as she brandished a $200 giftcard in her hand. Nobody was supposed to be doing speeches, but this dark haired woman had strutted up and grabbed the microphone like it was her goddamn job. Nicky was in stitches, and Jaida leaned in to tell Jan that it was Priyanka, lovely but utterly unhinged and hilarious. Jan couldn’t connect her to the princess she was onscreen, and she looked at Lemon who was rolling her eyes with a wide smirk at the antics. 

Jan didn’t win, but she didn’t take it _too much_ to heart. She stood and clapped for whoever did, someone who worked in sports, maybe Kameron? She wasn’t listening properly however because she had turned to tell Lemon something, only to find that the girl had disappeared. 

Lemon’s drink was gone, her purse was gone, and most importantly, herself.

Jackie didn’t win either, and Jan would be lying if she said she didn’t think the universe had her back on that one. Maybe if Jackie had come to her apartment, or even invited Jan to her place, she would have been the one walking up onstage. Karma had ways and Jan was inclined to believe in it. Of course, the always polite Jackie graciously stood and cheered Chelsea on. 

By the time the awards were over, Jan was left alone at the table. Even though she had spent the whole night pushing Jaida and Nicky together, encouraging them to be alone, she still huffed, feeling a little left behind. She scanned the space for a familiar face, and her eyes wandered the room until she saw that Jackie was alone too. 

_Fine._ Some might say this was petty, but if Lemon was going to go off and do her own thing, then Jan was going to do exactly what her roommate was here to stop. She rolled her eyes, wondering if she’d have been better to bring Gus along as her buffer.

Jan walked like she was on air, heels barely clacking as she floated her way over to Jackie, cushioned by the sea of ever so slight intoxication that was just beginning to hit her. After four glasses of champagne and one white wine, the rational part of Jan’s mind was clouded in a way that made her feel ready for this conversation.

“Jackie?” She approached her from behind, clearing her throat. 

Jackie turned, seeming to flounder for a minute before she breathed out Jan’s name like a prayer and looked her over.

“You look gorgeous.” Jackie murmured, offering a smile that had maybe, just _maybe_ had hints of an apology in its midst. 

Jan couldn’t help feeling elevated, an easy smile blooming over her face at the compliment as she thanked her. Jackie’s tone made Jan feel like a deity, but the reality was that she would get on her knees any day to worship the woman in front of her.

“I was shocked when you didn’t win,” Jackie mused, cocking her head to the side as if she was scoping out Jan’s expression. Her arms were crossed, and she held her champagne glass lightly, fingers curled around it nonchalantly. “I voted for you.”

“Me too.” Jan simpered, and then snorted a far more real laugh as she caught herself. “Voted for you, I mean. Not about me losing. I voted for _you_ , I’m shocked that _you_ didn’t win-”

To Jan’s relief, Jackie’s chuckle joined her laughter, a much deeper counterpoint to her own high ringing tones. Jackie tucked a chocolate curl behind her ear as the smirk remained on her lips. Lights to darks and highs to lows, they were the antithesis of each other in so many ways, territories the other had never crossed before. 

But Jan had always loved discovering new things and exploring uncharted waters. 

Maybe that was why they couldn’t transition from this state they were in. It had been fun at first, a naughty secret that worked on Jan’s deepest desires, but at this point it felt smothering and she wanted to breathe freely again. Jan wanted to take Jackie’s hands, pop them on her waist where they’d talked about them being so many times and laugh secretly in dark corners and liquor that made them hiccup in between delicate whispers.

“Chelsea deserved it.” Was all Jackie replied honestly, eyeing Jan quizzically as she took small sips. Jan could tell that Jackie was a little tipsy, not quite as steady as she usually was, and it made her want to ground her with hands on her waist.

Not that Jan was much steadier herself, they would be mirror images of dizzy intoxication to any passerby. 

“Y’know, Jackie…” Jan’s voice was confident, if a little tentative with the precious things it held. 

But before she could give them, Jackie was whisked away, dragged off by a hysterically laughing Chelsea who said Jackie _had to go with her, right this second._ Chelsea lifted her drink in Jan’s direction as she tugged on her best friend’s arm, and Jackie mouthed a quick apology as she was hauled away.

Jan carried on floating, pursing her lips, figuring that she had time to say whatever she wanted to Jackie. She just didn’t know if she would continue to have the nerve.

****

Jan’s airy travels had brought her to Courtney, who affectionately brought her closer for a brief kiss on the cheek, giggling when she noticed the pink lipstick left behind. She brushed it away from Jan's skin with the pad of her thumb, and another hand thrusted a shot into Jan's grip. 

“C’mon new girl! Back it!” Jan was grateful that the slow, melodic string quartet had been ditched in favour of a DJ at this point. Music was an escape to her, and she let herself hold hands with Adore as they enthusiastically picked their next poison from the back of the bar. 

Jan felt grateful for her own easy nature, and the effervescent personality she had been blessed with bred a warmth for those around her. She had a magnetism to her when people took the time to notice it, took the moment to embrace her flighty and heedless ways. She would the first girl to grab your hand at the start of the night and the one who would be left behind with you at the end. Jan could easily create conversation with a brick wall if she was perfectly honest, so it was no surprise when she found herself gliding between those both expected (Bob) and unexpected (Willam).

Every now and then, her eyes scanned the room for her missing friend.

How the fuck did she lose a girl with hair so bright? Nobody else would dye their hair _that_ shade of yellow, so Jan could usually spot her friend anywhere in Manhattan, but now she’d managed to lose her in a single room. She finally tracked her down at the bar, her bright hair being the first clue as always. It was bouncing against the exposed skin of her back as she seemed to nod enthusiastically to whatever her new friend was saying.

Jan made her way over quickly, sighing in relief.

“Lem, thank _god_ I found you-” 

“Hey party-crasher, who’s your friend?” Jan recognised the woman Lemon was talking to as Priyanka from the stage earlier on, from the kid’s channel, and this was a far cry from her child-friendly princess persona. 

Priyanka’s red floor length gown hugged her body with cutouts at the neckline, and her gold choices of jewellery glimmered prettily against her skin. Her voice was flirty, confident and definitely loosened up by a few drinks. The only connection she currently had to her television persona was how damn loud she was.

As for Lemon, _well,_ Jan quickly noticed that Lemon wasn’t exactly just _talking to_ Priyanka _,_ more like hungrily invading her space with a confident arm propped up against the bar. Poor Priyanka probably didn’t have a choice in the matter. One step closer and Lemon would be pressed against her. Their height difference made Jan smirk a little, her roommate being practically a whole head shorter, but Lemon liked them tall. She said she liked to feel dainty. 

When Lemon turned, she didn’t exactly appear to share Jan’s relief at their reunion, her eyes widening into an immediate glare of warning as she offered a forced smile that didn’t shine like the sequins of her dress.Ah. Jan was _interrupting._

“This is Jan and Jan has somewhere to be. Right?” Lemon’s voice was sherbet, and a sourness came through, enough to make Jan feel like she had sucked on a bitter sweet. 

Jan glanced back to Priyanka who looked ever so slightly apologetic for a fleeting moment, but Lemon’s overly obvious antics brought a winning smirk to her face, and she merely gave a nonchalant shrug as if to say: _what Lemon wants, Lemon gets._

Jan had a sneaking suspicion that if they hit it off and Priyanka kept that attitude, it could last.

She also had a much more obvious suspicion that Lemon was going to be utterly preoccupied for the rest of the evening. 

The last thing she saw before walking away was Lemon animatedly spinning a story for Priyanka, who was laughing with her head thrown back, and had a tell-tale hand on Lemon’s ass.

****

She’d had too much. 

Lemon was supposed to stop this.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Everything felt close, hot and blurred. Jan’s contacts were starting to bother her and she resisted the urge to claw them from her eyes, knowing that her acrylic nails and being _this_ wasted were never going to be a great mix. Her self-awareness was waning dangerously due to the shots Courtney and Adore had shoved into her hands earlier on. She had never spoken much with Monét aside from taking her instructions on the newsroom floor, but the woman hauled Jan into the space under her arm and talked quickly and lovingly about her bright professionalism (and shadily about the people who didn’t possess the same trait). This had culminated in more glasses of wine than Jan could count, and she looked down to see a fresh vodka soda in her hand.

She thought about putting it down, or pouring it into the nearest plush plant pot, but when she looked up again she saw Jackie. 

It was time to say something and surely one more vodka wouldn’t hurt. It might even help.

With that spirit, Jan chugged it down and slammed it onto the nearest table before making her way over to Jackie who was laughing with Bob, her head thrown back uncaringly. Jan tapped her on the elbow, cleared her throat.

“Could you, um- Nope, _actually,_ just come with me.” Somewhere in Jan, whatever connected her brain to her mouth quickly turned a polite request into a demand that Jackie had no choice but to agree to.

And she did. 

She followed her out of the ballroom, and Jan could hear her questioning tone as she said her name over and over until they came to a stop in an empty hallway just off the lobby. The carpet hushed the clack of their heels, breeding a sudden silence. The spot Jan had led them to wasn’t exactly private, but taking Jackie into the bathroom felt a little bit too high school drama for her at that moment.

“Are you okay?” Jackie was so infuriatingly tender, her brow furrowed deeply as she took a step forward into Jan’s space once they had come to a halt. She softened even more on her next breath.“Jan?”

Jan realised that her eyes were stinging and she couldn’t understand why, all she had to do was communicate her wants, her _needs_ to Jackie. She took a deep breath that wasn’t nearly as calming as she hoped it would be, but it gave her the oxygen for her next words.

“Jackie, what are we doing?”

They came out soft and gentle, tentative like a sprouting seed, and Jackie looked as though she was about to help them grow. Jackie reached out and touched Jan’s hair, and they were left suspended for a moment before she chose the wrong words.

“Jan, please don’t-” 

Jan jerked away from the touch at Jackie’s nervous laugh, at her anxious outpour of avoidance. Jan didn’t feel soft and gentle anymore, she had been set alight with an irritating friction. She had always been fiery, but she always forgot that her tendency to become a fizzling sparkler always ended with her light dimming and her _own_ skin becoming scalded.

Forgetting that as always, Jan flickered into a flame.

“Tell me now, tell me right this second, what the fuck are we doing?”

“Right now? We’re _drunk.”_

If Jan was staccato, Jackie was loose and legato and Jan had absolutely no time for it. She wouldn’t acknowledge that her voice shook on her next words, and swallowed any sadness down her throat.

“Jacks, that’s not fair.”

“We need to do this when we’re sober, Jan.” Jackie was firm, shaking her head like her life depended on it.

“What’s the difference? My feelings don’t change depending on how much I’ve drank, doll. Do yours?”

Jan had hoped this would heat Jackie up and make her irrational, free with her emotional boundaries and maybe she would take the bait that Jan had outright acknowledged her _feelings_ but-

Jackie didn’t do irrational. She did sober and calculated discussions, she did avoidance and tentativity, she did hesitance and security. Jan thought that this might be an exception, but she was wrong.

“Jan.” 

The pause was lengthy, hours weighing on Jan’s chest, and Jackie pinched the bridge of her nose. She didn’t raise her voice once. “You know what? I won’t do this right now.” 

Jackie tried to grab her hands in a final plea, only for Jan to snatch them away. At this point, the only tell-tale of her alcohol consumption was how she had continued to touch Jan with more confidence than she had ever shown while they were face to face. First her hair, and then her hands.

Jan almost wished she’d let her, just for a moment, until Jackie’s next words made her grit her teeth. 

“Text me.”

Jan wasn’t collected enough to shoot back a cutting response, so she simply watched her leave before dabbing at the dampness under her eyes with the bottom of her palms as not to completely ruin her makeup.

She had driven Jackie away.

It made her dig her heels into the ground and scowl, because even when she tried to scope out her friends back in the ballroom, Lemon was nowhere to be seen and the sight of Nicky and Jaida sharing tender kisses in a dark corner made a jealous bile rise in her throat.

Jan needed air and she needed it now. 

She hung back a little, terrified to run into Jackie as her mascara had undoubtedly begun to stain her cheeks. So much for saving her makeup. Once she was satisfied that Jackie would have gone, she walked outside. The air felt cleansing, healing.

Without a care for the light dusting of blue on her dress, she plonked herself down onto the damp steps that led up to the front doors. The doormen looked quizzical, but were far too awkward to ask what was wrong. People were leaving in crowds, barely noticing her, until one person hesitated at the sight of a sniffly, hunched-over blonde grumbling to herself as she checked her appearance in her phone camera.

Feeling searching eyes on her, Jan looked up.

“It’s Crystal, right?” Jan asked, prompting a nod from the colourful passerby who had paused. 

The woman looked down, and Jan found that she was right, it _was_ Crystal. She looked pretty, sans clown make up, but her look was bright and unnatural all the same. Huge eyeliner and dark lips with glitter. She had mismatched shimmery bright purple boots with a red floral dress that skimmed her ankles. 

The boots even had a fluffy rim, but Jan couldn’t see them anymore, because Crystal had taken a seat beside her on the rain soaked steps. 

“Are you okay?” Crystal’s voice was high and nasal, but kind. She looked concerned, her brow furrowed deeply. 

Jan tried to nod, she really did, but it turned into a desperate shake of the head and a sob that shattered her heart. From the way Crystal looked at her, it was as if she had broken hers too. She felt Crystal’s warm arm around her and she easily burrowed into it, closing her eyes against the way the world was spinning as she wrapped her arms around her new friend’s middle.

“Oh shit- _Lemon.”_

“Like...the fruit?” Crystal laughed a little, looking utterly bemused. Jan wondered why she wasn’t drunk for a moment before noticing how her eyes were rimmed with red and hooded with a blissful high. “The citrus fruit?”

“Yes- Well, no, she’s my friend. The only one here with yellow hair and I _can’t_ find her.” Jan slurred her words, pouting and folding her arms with a sigh. She blinked when Crystal’s expression became more alert, and the way she nodded made her curls bounce.

“The yellow one!” Crystal’s alertness made her voice get higher, cracking slightly, and she used the hand that wasn’t rubbing Jan’s back to push some hair behind her ear. Jan noticed that she’d dyed the tips green, and she wanted to reach out and touch it. “Oh, she’s long gone…”

That brought Jan back down to earth, and she frowned deeply, words stringing themselves together. “Wait, what? Is she okay?!-”

Jan was ready to embark on the most intoxicated (and stupidest) search party in history, even if it ended up as only herself, until Crystal spoke again.

“Did you not see her with Priyanka?” Crystal raised her eyebrows and started to wiggle them suggestively. “They were _all over each other._ I’m pretty sure Pri took her home like an hour ago.”

That brought it all back, Lemon’s very quick absence in the name of Priyanka, and you know what? This was just Jan’s luck. Of course Lemon was getting laid tonight. Of course Jan was alone. 

Her sigh must have said it all, because Crystal looked borderline panicky with tears in her own eyes at the sight of Jan being in such distress. She could feel her lower lip trembling, and she bit it to make it stop.

“Gorg?” Jan started, failing completely at steadying her voice. It took Crystal a hazy moment to look at her again, but her foggy mind gradually seemed to work out that the term of endearment was for her. “Can we just...sit for a little longer?”

“Sure.”

Crystal rubbed Jan’s arm rhythmically with her thumb, and she didn’t even try to move her when the drizzling rain began again.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even want to preface this with anything huge, JUST that I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know what you think! Enjoy babieeeees! Yaaaaaaaa I'm excited!
> 
> PS: this is now officially like the longest thing I’ve written. Wild.

Sunday was a day of rest, and while Jackie was definitely sleepy, her mind was doing anything but resting. She was nursing a god almighty hangover that she wasn’t sure was out of guilt or the alcohol she consumed.

 _Yes,_ she had fled the scene, figuring that they were far too drunk for that conversation, but her clouded haze of a brain hadn’t allowed her to do it in the most logical and kind way for poor Jan. Jackie remembered that she had tried to reach out and touch her, hoping it would communicate the affections she was finding so difficult to voice, but Jan had recoiled like Jackie had burned her.

She spent the day slow, curled up with Nimbus and anxiously tapping her phone every ten minutes or so to see if Jan had said _something, anything._

She hadn’t.

The ball was in Jackie’s court, and she wasn’t oblivious enough to think that it wasn’t.

Sundays were always unhurried and leisurely, but this one was sluggish and lagging. It dragged its heels more with every hour that passed without any contact from Jan, and the scraping of its heels against the ground felt all but deafening to Jackie.

Despite filling Nimbus’ bowl diligently, she didn’t eat until around four. She begrudgingly warmed up leftovers, exhaling slowly and holding onto the edge of her kitchen counter to the whir of her microwave. 

It was only once she was warmed by the lasagne and refreshed by a steaming hot shower, that she picked up her phone and did what she should have done hours ago.

**Jackie:**

_I feel awful about what happened. Can we talk?_

**Jan:**

_Of course, but anything you text me needs to be something you would say or do to me in person. I’m not playing this game anymore._

Jackie chewed her lower lip, staring at the blunt response Jan had given. The words were rehearsed, and Jackie couldn’t help wondering if she had curated it with someone. Maybe her roommate, or Nicky, or Jaida. They’d have told her that she deserves better and to demand her wants and needs. It was fair, and Jackie absolutely agreed.

Her apartment suddenly felt empty in a way it never had the entire time she’d lived there. The singular dish drying by the side of the sink seemed lonely in a way, and she felt a pining need to see things paired up. Two bowls, two sets of cutlery, two glasses with a glossy stain around the rim of just one of them.

Jan wasn’t afraid of taking risks, toeing the line, catapulting herself off the edge. She had demonstrated it a number of times, and Jackie was practiced in watching her do it. She decided that it was time to stop watching, it was dry and humid up here, and the depths below would prove to be what she needed.

Jackie didn’t reply to Jan’s text, but she did spring into action. 

She started with jeans and her AOC 2024 tee-shirt.

****

It was a crisp evening for once, and the tell-tale signs of Autumn were well and truly making themselves known in New York City. It was cooling down, taking tentative steps towards the sudden freeze Winter would bring. The al fresco diners would begin donning scarves, and eventually they would swap their margaritas for spiked hot drinks on the sides of the streets. Jackie liked the transitional seasons, they signalled that change was always possible, and that was one of the things driving her down the sidewalk now.

Ten blocks.

Fifteen minutes.

Jackie had slung her tan rucksack over her shoulder, and there was a sneaking hope that she would need the overnight essentials she had packed. You see, she was practicing this new thing called _relentless optimism_. Jan had taught her about it, and she hoped that this romantic notion alone would be enough for her to let Jackie in after everything. The streets were slower than usual, as they always were in the calm before the storm of Monday morning, but Jackie’s steps were hurried. She had wasted enough time already and it was time to stop.

Ironically enough, _stopping_ was what had her _going_ , and Jackie only spared a few apologies for the couples who insisted on holding hands and taking up the entire sidewalk. She would push her way past, picking up her pace, feeling the small pulse of cold air within her chest when she breathed through her mouth. Soon enough, that night, Jackie knew that she would be able to see her breath floating in the air like a cloud. 

She had been rushing for ten blocks by now surely, and she realised that her determination to be so bold had driven her all the way up the street until unfamiliar apartment buildings surrounded her. When they had walked home together, Jan had always dropped her off because Jackie’s place came first. She very quickly realised that she had absolutely no idea which building Jan lived in, and she let out a bark of laughter at the absurdity of it all as she pivoted on the spot.

Jackie would have to call her. So much for a surprising act of spontaneous romance.

Jackie deftly swung her rucksack around to her front, digging into the bottom of it for her phone, rolling her eyes and grumbling to herself when finding it was harder than she first thought it would be. 

_Wait- gotcha._

Once she had triumphantly plucked it out of the depths, Jackie didn’t know what daring breath Jan had knocked into her, because she didn’t hesitate in her journey to pressing call.

“Jackie?”

“Jan-” 

Jackie realised that she hadn’t planned what to say, so she went for the most obvious option. 

“I’m here.”

“Here? Wait, _where?!”_ Jackie could hear her footsteps against the floor, they were hurried and gentle, bare feet on wood. “Jackie, I can see you. Turn around.”

Jan’s voice had softened, melted like ice to water, hushed to almost a whisper. When Jackie turned, Jan was staring at her out of a third floor window across the street. She let a beat of silence pass before she spoke.

“Well, are you going to let me in? Or are you going to let me stand out here in the cold?”

“What - You’re not gonna, like, throw rocks against my window? This is _corny,_ Jacks.”

“Oh my god, just shut up and let me up.” Jackie was pleased to hear the giggle she had elicited from Jan, it was static down the phone as she made her way over to the door and was promptly buzzed into the building. 

“Third floor, 303.” Jan ended the call, and by the time Jackie reached the door to the right apartment, it was already open and Jan was standing in the doorway.

She was wearing fluffy slippers and a guarded expression that hid what Jackie hoped was a smile. Her hair was in a messy bun, and of course she was the kind of girl to have velvet loungewear that hung off her hips for hangover days like these. An empty mug was hanging from her fingers by its handle, and Jackie wondered whether there would be coffee or tea on her lips. Maybe something sweeter like hot chocolate. 

Jan shot her a snarky comment that had no bite at all, asking if Jackie was just going to stand and stare or actually come inside. Jackie huffed, crossing the threshold into Jan’s space where she was greeted by the scent of honeysuckle and quiet music migrating through the hallways from one of the rooms. 

Jan made polite conversation as she led Jackie to a small living room that was empty aside from a couple of crumpled blankets, and it was explained that Lemon was out taking Gus on a walk. Jan told her that walk was a strong word however, as Gus enjoyed plonking himself down lazily onto the pavement whenever he pleased. Whoever was on walking duty had their work cut out for them. Jan tittered nervously, offering drinks and snacks until a tense silence overtook them that Jackie refused to endure.

“I’m sorry. I should have let you talk about it.” Jackie was clear, to the point. She was rehearsed, overly so, and had spent all day thinking of the ways she could say this.

“I mean, _duh._ ” Jan huffed, finally sitting herself on the sofa beside Jackie. Her weight made the cushions dip, and Jackie could feel how it equalised the soft material between them. “Like... _text me?_ Really, Jackie? As if that wasn’t the whole problem, gorg.”

Jackie cringed, her face crumpling minutely, but she knew that she needed to hear it. Jan wasn’t being cruel. On the contrary, her voice was entirely open and gentle, and it was incredibly reassuring.

“Not my finest moment, I’ll admit.” Jackie breathed with a little shrug, forcing herself to hold Jan’s gaze. “I’m not great at this, can you tell?”

“You’re telling me-” Jan snorted quietly, and she slowly walked her fingers over the small space between them before arriving at Jackie’s waiting hand. “We’re both a little messy, I guess.”

“Would it be us if we weren’t?” Jackie replied, taking Jan’s hand in hers, and it felt like an exhale she didn’t realise she had been holding onto. 

“No. Maybe not.” The simplicity of what they could be hit Jackie like a double decker bus as she watched their intertwined hands, and felt Jan give her a small squeeze. 

It didn’t stop at the squeeze however, and Jan didn’t seem to be willing to give Jackie any time to fret over what was about to happen, bringing herself closer until their noses were mere inches apart. Jackie was given a few seconds to analyse Jan’s facial expressions, even the tiniest changes in her brow, before she felt a chaste kiss being brushed against her lips. It was tentative, as though Jan felt like her true force might frighten Jackie off. Sweet and testing, as though she was telling Jackie that it was still okay to back away from all of this. Just a tender peck of the lips would leave her relatively untouched and they could never talk about it again. Jan began to pull back, inhaling before words would undoubtedly tumble from her mouth, but Jackie chased her for an unyielding kiss. She could feel the warmth of Jan’s relieved sigh in her mouth.

From then on, Jackie showed no signs of letting up, cupping Jan’s face so that she could angle her head and kiss her deeply. Jan was pliant, content to be moved in every which way Jackie wanted. When Jan licked into her mouth, Jackie’s chuckle was satisfied and swallowed up by the kisses, but there all the same. Pure want was clawing at Jackie as she finally let it out, finally coming to the point where she was taking exactly what she had wanted for weeks now. Jan seemed to feel the same, and her touches weren’t as patient, they groped and caressed any part of Jackie they could reach, fingertips skirting over the skin under her t-shirt.

After all this time, having Jan’s body finally pressed against her own was wholly intoxicating, and Jackie knew that this kind of drunk would never give her a regretful hangover. She cradled Jan’s jaw as she dragged her lips down, nuzzling into the tendons of Jan’s neck and tipping her head back to access more bare skin. At one point, blonde hairs that had escaped from Jan’s loose (and mostly ruined) bun got caught in Jackie’s mouth, but she didn’t even notice in favour of finding the spot against her pulse point that made Jan hold onto her that little bit tighter. Jackie couldn’t get close enough to her, and revelled in the familiar perfume, orange blossoms, vanilla and jasmine.

“Should we move to my room? Lem could be back soon…” Jan uttered quietly, and Jackie paused her ministrations to give her a small, wet kiss on the lips. Now that she had started, she simply couldn’t stop. 

Jackie threw her a nod and a small smirk that only faltered when she caught sight of Jan’s new expression, the flicker of worry that was evident for just a split second. Jan didn’t give her a chance to ask what was wrong though, because of course, she just said it. It was that simple, and was the way they would move forward.

“This is more than just fucking, right Jacks? It’s more.” Jan had closed her eyes, placing her hands on Jackie’s sternum like they steadied her. Her breath was held in suspension, and Jackie knew that she was the release. 

“Jan, look at me.” Jackie’s voice was soft and syrupy, honeyed with the sweetness of Jan’s close proximity. “ _Please_ relax. It’s more, I promise. Do you still want to do this? Right now?”

That was apparently all Jan needed to hear, because when she opened her eyes she was smiling. Her gaze intense as she nodded an enthusiastic _yes,_ and she grabbed hold of Jackie’s hand with a tightness that might have been a little painful if she wasn’t rushed off the adrenaline of being hauled into the second bedroom down the hall. Jackie couldn’t take in her surroundings, couldn’t pay attention to what books rested on Jan’s shelves or what plants she had sat about, because all that mattered was taking in Jan herself. Their kisses had become messy, desperate, as had the sounds that careened from Jan’s lips. For once they weren’t coated in sticky gloss, and Jackie liked the soft pink that was now only shiny with her spit.

Their clothes came off quickly, like the foreplay of the weeks preceding this had vanquished any need to take their time until Jan was stripped down to her underwear and Jackie _had_ to stare at her for a moment. Jan seemed to understand and slowed herself down, chest heaving as she bit her lip and enjoyed the way Jackie smoothed her hands over the lace of her panties. She snapped the waistband against her skin, and they met each other's eyes with an excitable heat. Jan caught the hint of Jackie’s tugs at the elasticated material, and she slid the briefs down her legs, stepping out of them.

Jan’s bra was the next thing to go, and Jackie hummed at the way the mint green lace cupped her breasts. She began pressing kisses to Jan’s sternum, migrating lower, slipping her thumbs underneath the material to softly brush over her nipples.

“I thought you weren’t getting this set?” Jackie suddenly remembered, voice muffled against her soft skin as she refused to pause, leaving a wet trail in her wake.

“Jacks…” Jan began to confess, simpering quietly before she spoke again, biting her lip against the beaming smile of being caught out. Her hands twisted firmly into Jackie’s curls. “I got them all.” 

_Of course she did._

“So that little show you put on…” Jackie began, pausing to pull back from the dip between her breasts so that she could smirk up at her. “...really was all for me.”

“I used to be a theatre kid,” Jan’s eyes were bright, mischievous, and Jackie could freely admit that she was absolutely obsessed with her effervescent glow. It’s translation to the bedroom was seamless, and felt right.

Jackie snorted a laugh against Jan’s skin, and she took pleasure in pulling her over to the bed as they impatiently discarded whatever remains of clothes and underwear were left on their bodies. As gorgeous as Jan was in her lingerie, Jackie wanted her bare, without barriers between them. Lilacs and creams were cradling gasps and voices were stuck in throats as they kissed and choked out utterances of lusty affection. Before she knew it, Jackie was lying on her back with Jan straddling her, no barriers between them whatsoever. Jackie’s hands were magnetised to soft thighs before she had even made the decision to do so. 

“Beautiful-” Jackie breathed, and Jan’s pleased giggle in response was swallowed up by a filthy kiss that turned the innocent laugh into a wanton sound of need. Jackie could feel Jan’s wetness as she ground her hips down, and she was searching for friction like it was her job. When Jackie stared at the sight before her, she was certain that she had never seen anything hotter than the flush that had spread over Jan’s cheeks as she moved needily against her.

That was, until she stopped.

Jan was smirking now, pausing like an idea had struck her. If this wasn’t real life, Jackie was sure a light bulb would have appeared above her head. Jackie propped herself up on her elbows, quizzically searching Jan’s expression for an answer before the blonde clambered out of her lap and was at her drawers. Jackie gawked, about to ask until-

_Oh._

She spotted the harness first, and her eyes glinted with hunger as she absorbed the sight of Jan so confidently knowing what she wanted. Jackie should have known that this talent would be present in every walk of Jan’s life. The blonde wordlessly chucked the strap-on and some lube onto the end of her bed, and it rested against her cream comforter as she slung her leg back over Jackie’s middle, leaning down to immediately trail kisses from her collarbone up to her jaw. As she closed her eyes against the sensations of Jan’s lips, Jackie’s hands slid down the smooth expanse of her back, finding their way to her ass where she squeezed and groped the soft skin in a way that made Jan’s breath hitch in her throat.

Jackie was ready to push Jan down into the mattress, to feel her wetness coating her fingers, but she was stopped in her tracks when she felt a tongue flicking over her nipple. The look in Jan’s eyes was positively indecent as she took it into her mouth, sucking avidly and letting small sounds of enjoyment escape her. Jackie cradled Jan’s head, her mouth a small ‘o’ as she indulged in watching her bob her head. 

“God, your _mouth-”_ Jackie marvelled, and this seemed to give Jan another idea. 

Giving Jan ideas, Jackie thought, was something she should do more often. The outcome was more than she could have bargained for. The sudden sight of Jan carefully opening her legs and settling between them with an experimental lick against her clit made her jerk a little in surprise. Jan wanted to prove exactly what her mouth could do, and Jackie was in no position to deny her.

Jan mouthed her way up the inside of Jackie’s thigh, her tongue dragging smoothly across olive skin, and she stopped every so often to place deviant kisses that landed anywhere but the place Jackie wanted them. Jan took her time and dragged a groan of frustration from Jackie’s lips, who couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so in need of anything. 

“Jan, I will _not_ beg you damn it-'' Jackie's order was let out on a sigh, and Jan’s eyes gleamed cheekily as she looked up at her.

Instead of speaking, she let out an infuriating little high laugh in response before acquiescing, finally settling on her elbows with Jackie’s thighs over her shoulders so that she could get to work on giving open mouthed, eager kisses to her clit. Jackie’s tone softened immediately at Jan obediently doing as she was told, and she placed a hand in messy blonde roots as she encouraged her to keep going. Jan’s tongue went between pressing circular motions against her clit down to breaching her entrance, making Jackie’s back arch with a groan. 

“More, god, Jan.” Jackie directed, and she used her grip on Jan’s hair to push her down gently. She hesitated, needing to ask: “Wait- Is that okay? Can I do that?” 

Jackie suddenly found herself gasping as Jan eagerly doubled her efforts in response. The only thing making the wet tongue against her glistening cunt feel clumsy were Jan’s nods paired with the way she placed a hand over Jackie’s to encourage her to push her head down harder. Jackie noticed how certain things she said made Jan more ardent about pleasing her, how the words _good girl_ had her making needy sounds against her entrance and creating vibrations that made Jackie move her hips against her face. Jackie watched Jan, enraptured, and somewhere in the hazy pleasure that was building in her stomach, she noticed the hand between her legs.

“ _Jan-”_ Her stern tone made Jan look up without stopping, and the look in her eyes said she knew what was coming. “Don’t touch yourself...Wait.”

Jan whimpered against Jackie’s clit, but she begrudgingly did as she was told. It helped that her mouth was busy, or Jackie surmised that the look on her face said she might have received a petulant comment if she was able to give one. As if to gain Jackie’s touches quicker, Jan quickened her pace. She reached a hand up to palm at Jackie’s nipples as she spread wetness between her opening and her clit in slick movements. Jackie’s chest was heaving, and Jan’s name escaped her like a mantra up until the point she came, tipped over the edge by the feeling of Jan’s tongue being relentlessly dipped into her entrance again and again. She flung an arm over her eyes with a groan, not caring for how loud she was being, as Jan licked her gently through her orgasm. 

If Jackie was to open her eyes and look down, she would have bet money on the fact that Jan looked like the cat who got the cream at this very moment. Jackie’s thighs were braced tightly around her head, and once they loosened, she finally chanced a glance to find that she was unsurprisingly correct.

“C’mere..” Jackie’s voice came out caring and low in her throat, and Jan wiped her chin with the back of her hand before crawling up her body, clearly knowing exactly what Jackie wanted. Sharing her taste, she gave her a kiss that bled pure intimacy. 

Jackie hummed in approval, cupping Jan’s face and sighing. She let her other hand brush its way down Jan’s body, ghosting over her breasts and soft tummy, the curve of her hip, before she dipped it between her thighs to where she was dripping. She let her fingers brush through her light pubic hair and her wetness made Jackie pull back, forcing a flushing Jan to knowingly meet her gaze. Jackie began creating small circles against her clit, watching in awe as her expression twisted and changed. Jan would be aching by now, throbbing, and that knowledge made Jackie smile.

“Hand it over, baby.” Was all Jackie said as she nodded over to where the strap-on and lube lay side by side at the end of the bed, and Jan seemed past any level of embarrassment by now as she hurriedly grabbed them both. However, Jan didn’t seem to realise that moving meant losing Jackie’s touches, and she couldn’t help the gasp of loss that escaped her. Jackie eyed her, all shaky and needing, as she did as she was told. She took the harness from her without rushing, lifting her hips and pulling it up before adjusting and securing it around her hips. 

“Jackie…” Jan finally seemed able to manage words, albeit not many. She keened, moving her hips against nothing at all as she watched Jackie pull it on.

 _God, she’s going to kill me,_ Jackie thought, because Jan was holding nothing about her desires back and it was sending jolts right through her. She only came mere moments ago, but her clit was already pulsing at the sight of Jan like this.

She let out a laboured breath and gave the dildo a couple of tugs to ensure it was secure. Jackie assumed that if Jan bit her lip any harder she was about to draw blood, so as she smoothed lube over the dildo, she motioned for Jan to come closer with a small jerk of her head. Jan’s gaze was pulled from Jackie’s actions as she crawled up to her, and Jackie gifted her with deep kisses and touches to her breasts with her free hand. Jackie asked her what she wanted, and abstained from further kisses until she could be articulate about it. 

“I want you to fuck me-” Were the words finally managed, and Jackie rewarded her for it. Jan was incredibly flustered, flushing a pretty deep pink, and Jackie used the remaining lube on her fingers to gently stroke her folds and shallowly dip her fingers inside of her. The sudden moan she received made Jan press her face into Jackie’s neck, and Jackie pressed a kiss against her hair, encouraging it.

Jackie spoke again, against messy blonde tendrils that had long been lost from their bun. 

“Are you going to do what I say?” 

Jan nodded. Jackie narrowed her eyes, and Jan felt her shift.

“Yes.”

“Ride me until you come. Got it?” 

Jan didn’t need any more encouragement than that, and Jackie’s eyes were wide with wonder as she watched her move quickly into position. She used Jackie’s shoulder as leverage with one hand, and lined the dildo up against her entrance with the other as she slowly sank down onto it. Jan cursed as she sank down, her eyes fluttering closed, and Jackie held her tenderly by the hips. She was hypnotised by the sight. As Jan stilled, got used to the stretch, Jackie did the one thing that would make her even more gorgeous to watch, if that was possible. Spurred on by her arousal, she gently brushed her fingers over Jan’s lips. She got the hint right away, and took Jackie’s fingers into her mouth.The little brat even opened her eyes as she did it, even when she was full like this, knowingly giving Jackie a show of working her mouth around them with a hooded gaze.

“How does that feel?” Jackie cooed after a few moments, once her fingers were cupping Jan’s jaw and leaving traces of her spit behind on her skin. 

Jackie decided that she could watch Jan becoming undone every single day. No - _correction_ \- Jackie could undo Jan every single day. She was nodding to Jackie's question like her life depended on it, mindless garbles escaping her about how good it felt. Jackie took pity on her, gently starting a rhythm with her hips that Jan could follow. Jackie wanted to give her everything that she needed, everything she deserved, and that started here with the way her crimson nails dug into her hips as she fucked her. Her hands looked pleasing on Jan’s body, and they cradled the waves of her stretch marks that travelled like maps Jackie wanted to follow.

Jan rode her exactly as Jackie expected: with a relentless abandon. Jan struggled to keep her eyes open as Jackie started to play with her breasts, twisting her nipples as she quietly encouraged her with murmurs about how amazing she looked like this, what a good girl she was being. It was odd, in a way, to finally have what they had talked about for so long, but having Jan writhing in pleasure in her lap felt utterly right. It felt oddly familiar, like the seductive writings she would send were being translated for Jackie, and this was now in a much more preferable language. 

By now, Jan was practically bouncing in Jackie’s lap and her mewls of pleasure had reached a fever pitch as she was built up and up and up, only to be wrecked and torn all the way down. On the edge of her orgasm, she sought Jackie out, and Jackie answered. She held tightly onto Jan’s hips like she was frightened she might disappear, creating indents in her skin that would vanish with time as they kissed messily, all close heat and slick wetness. Jan could only kiss back for a fleeting moment, giving into crying out Jackie’s name she came. Her mouth was open against Jackie’s, who was able to greedily take in every moan and then every whimper as she fucked her through her orgasm. 

Once they had come to a steady halt, Jackie began to guide Jan gently closer and into the crook of her neck as she gradually came down. 

They remained still for a while, and the only sounds in the room were soft utterances and panting, the odd chuckle that warmed the space along with the streetlights that were welcomed into the twilight of the evening. They cleaned themselves up together, and Jackie marvelled in taking care of Jan with her shaking legs and the post-orgasmic fog around her mind that resulted in her refusing to let go of Jackie for absolutely anything if she could help it. At a rare moment of release, Jackie dug through the bag she’d packed for her clothes to lay them out for the next day. Jan affectionately mocked her for being so overly prepared and presumptuous.

“What if I’d said no and told you to leave?” Jan breathed from where she lay on the bed, on top of the covers and lying down on her front. The carnelian glow of a candle bathed her naked skin in an evening sunlight, and Jackie couldn’t help letting her gaze rest on the curve of her ass. Being casually naked around each other should have perhaps felt strange, but the comfort Jackie felt had been bred organically between them over time now. It felt natural that their nakedness could co-exist within sex and without it. 

“But you didn’t.” Jackie responded, laying her earrings on top of her folded clothes. Jan had done the same, and their side by side organisation felt like it fit. A jigsaw puzzle she didn’t know she was completing. 

Jackie raised an eyebrow.

“Well?” She asked Jan, standing up and taking the bobble from her wrist to tie her hair in a ponytail. Teasing her was far too fun to resist. “Would you like me to leave?”

“No.” Jan answered extremely quickly, propping herself up on her elbows suddenly. 

And that settled that. 

Jackie stayed.

****

“Good morning, _sluts.”_ Was Lemon’s cheery greeting as Jackie followed Jan into the kitchen the following morning. She was seated at the table, and her sparkly yellow acrylics were curled around a mug of morning coffee, eyes were bright with the satisfaction of this moment. They were trained in on Jan, until they rested on Jackie.

Jackie looked at Jan, and she was untouchable at this moment. Lemon could say whatever she wanted because Jan was giddy, _happy,_ with an undeniable glow about her. Jackie hadn’t realised how wound up she had been recently, her light ever so slightly dimmed, and guilt gnawed at her for being the cause of Jan’s stress. She quickly shook that thought however, registering that she was also the cause for this dose of unadulterated glee. There was nothing about Jan’s golden luminosity right now that said this was simply a standard post-sex rush. It seemed like more, and Jackie hoped that it was. 

“You’re in a good mood,” Jan quipped to her roommate, popping two slices of bread into the toaster as she bopped along to the morning radio.

“Which is wild considering the soundtrack I had to fall asleep to.” Lemon’s sardonic response was at odds with her smirk. It seemed to say that she was happy for Jan, but she wasn’t about to voice it.

“I’m-” Jackie began, eyes on Lemon as she sat with her at the table, but she wasn’t given a chance to finish.

“Oh I know who you are, doll. She said it enough times.”

Jackie let out a small laugh, unable to help herself when Lemon gave her an impressed look and a wink to accompany her words. She bit her lip against the self-satisfied smile that threatened to overtake her face, and shook her head to Jan’s kind offer of coffee. She was awake enough from the adrenaline of the night before, and didn’t need shaky hands on top of that. 

“Take that sleepless night as payback for abandoning me.” Jan shot at lemon, pointing a knife dramatically in her direction. It might have been threatening if she didn’t have a huge grin on her face and a joyful shade of lavender on her dress.

“Bitch, I had priorities-” Lemon sang, looking mighty pleased with herself.

“What? Getting fucked by a kids’ TV presenter?” Jan scoffed, and Jackie had a feeling she knew what Lemon’s answer would be.

“Exactly.” Lemon chirped back, a sunshine smile on her face as she confirmed Jackie’s quiet suspicions. 

Warm mugs and toast dripping with butter punctuated Jackie’s Monday morning along with endless chatter from Jan and Lemon that she was content to listen to. They made her laugh. Jan didn’t sit, preferring to lean against the counter, but every now and then she would place a hand on Jackie’s shoulder or brush against her on the way to the fridge. Jackie felt both noticed and accounted for, even if she didn’t have as much to say as the other two women. She felt a softness against her ankles, and glanced downwards to find the chubby dog she recognised as Gus underneath the table. He wanted her food, but would settle for the chin scratches she gave instead.

Jackie checked her phone as they made their way down the stairs and onto the street, greeted by a text from Chelsea bitching about the assholes on her morning subway ride. She wrinkled her nose against the crunchy cold of the early September morning and, glancing over to Jan's smiling face, texted back that she had news to brighten up her Monday.

Chelsea said she couldn’t wait to hear it, and Jackie couldn’t wait to tell her.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THE END THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE MY NEWS GIRLS. Thank you sooooo much for every comment, message, kudos, bit of love I've received as a result of this. It's been a full on labour of love.
> 
> FUN FACT: This was gonna be a oneshot and then I was like no I have too many ideas? Three chapters. It is now.....eight chapters. 
> 
> So I hope you guys are happy with where I've left them, this chapter is simply a bundle of soft soft soft to be honest! Thank you and I'll be back soooooon <3

Walking into work holding Jackie’s hand was exhilarating. 

After dancing around it and keeping everything to themselves for much too long, Jan struggled to keep the smile off her face as she leant against the wall of the lift that took them up to their floor. She toyed with Jackie’s fingers and met her eye with a warm, indulgent smile. 

On the second floor, the lift paused. Michelle was waiting impatiently outside of the doors, her dark hair scraped back into a slick professional bun as she tapped her foot. When her heels swiftly brought her inside, Jan’s immediate instinct was to pull back. She was used to concealing a secret and snatching touches away, but Jackie just tightened her grip and gave Michelle a polite greeting.

Michelle never missed a trick, and Jan could clock the remnants of a quizzical smirk playing about her lips. She only uttered one syllable with a singular nod down to their joined hands.

“Oh?”

“Yep.” Jan answered this time. They were a team now, and if Jackie was going to hold onto her tighter, then she was going to do her bit too. 

“Hmm.” Michelle hummed, but she didn’t seem displeased. She even gave them a smile as the lift doors opened and she made a beeline for her office with a parting shout of: “Don’t be late to the morning meeting!”

They refused to let go - or maybe it was just Jan, but she liked to think it was both - until they parted for their desks. Warm fingertips dragging against each other as they reluctantly pulled away. When Jan plonked herself down into her deskchair, Jaida’s jaw was slack with shock and Nicky was all but gawking. 

“So. It happened.” Nicky remarked ominously after a few beats of silence, sounding impressed as a smirk grew on her face. 

Jan looked at the proximity between Nicky and Jaida. They’d moved closer. 

“So.” Jan was smug, self-satisfied, positively singing as she leaned in closer to the new couple. She gestured between them with one of her bright gel pens she used for colour coding her printed forecast plans - she liked to be thorough. “It happened.”

There was a moment of surprise in their eyes, a shared tether of being utterly clocked, and Jan noticed how she snatched away Nicky’s satisfaction at being able to both embarrass Jan _and_ inform her of the change between herself and Jaida. Nicky was the first to guffaw, slamming her hands on the desk in a way that made Jan jump into her own silly chortle. Jaida’s laugh joined them, her eyes bright as she sat back and shook her head, calling Jan a “stealthy bitch,” for spotting them sneaking around in the dark.

“Excellent work, Janice.” Nicky’s smile was toothy, and Jan felt a pang that was utterly sorry for anyone who didn’t know Nicky for the loveable idiot that she was. People thought she was so cool, almost intimidatingly beautiful, but at heart she was...silly. Ridiculous. Fun. “Both on being a detective _and_ pulling your useless lesbian head out of your ass.”

“Says you guys.” Jan pointed out, rolling her eyes. “ And anyway, you weren’t exactly hiding it. Anyone could have looked over to see.”

And then, she softened, because she couldn’t help herself.

“I’m just glad it finally happened for real, you’re like my _work babies._ ”

Jan loved touch. It was rare that she didn’t seek out the contact of those she loved, always hankering for a cuddle or a hand to hold or someone to play with her hair. So she couldn’t help herself as she made the effort to reach out for both of them, fingertips brushing their arms in soft, affectionate strokes. 

“We were here first, doesn’t that make you our baby?” Jaida raised an eyebrow, eyeing Jan with a bemused look on her face.

 _“Mon dieu,_ I’m too young for kids-” Nicky muttered, standing herself up to clack her heels down the hall over to where Naomi and Kim were sitting, something about a question on her segment that evening.

Jan squawked a laugh as Jaida rolled her eyes good naturedly with a mutter of “dramatic bitch” while she tapped away at her keyboard. Jan indulged in her usual morning habit of twisting her chair around to take in the view of the office around her, and she couldn’t help but purposefully move a little slower than she usually would. She was nosy by nature, and it sent a thrill through her to see Jackie being accosted by both Chelsea and Bob. Jan heard her name float across the room, and she beamed, elated at the excitement that laced their voices.

Bob didn’t even try to be hushed about it, and she shouted over the desks before Jan’s chair could complete it’s full turn back to her desk.

“You’re gonna take care of Miss Jacqueline, hmm? Little Miss Sunshine?” She hollered, and hardly anyone even looked up because it’s _Bob_ and this wasn’t out of character for her.

“For sure-” Is all Jan could think to reply and she was thankful that her voice was loud by nature because ever so slight embarrassment was causing her giggles to come out in nervous titters and her cheeks began to heat up.

She averted her eyes, but the next place they came to rest was on Jackie. Her expression was half apologetic and half smug. 

Jan expected the wink that came, but the expectation of it didn’t mean it affected her any less.

****

Jan had never been able to sit still as far back as she could remember. She was fidgety by nature and struggled to settle on a comfortable position for more than twenty minutes at a time. She had been told that she was the same in her sleep, and past flames had commented on her irritating habit of waking them up by winding herself around them at four in the morning and then untangling herself again at six when she was awake without a cause. She was a mover, and that was why she found herself laying on her bed with her head hanging off the side of it as she looked at her upside-down reflection in the mirror and chatted to Jackie on the phone.

It had been a week and a half of blissful shared spaces, whether that was sofas, kitchens or beds. Inviting the other into their private realms was easy, and it felt natural. They indulged in not having to share each other with anyone else, but it was time to get some fresh air.

“As much as I love our apartments-”

“Our bedrooms. You love our bedrooms, Jan.” Jackie’s voice was a little muffled but still understandable, and it was clear that she was using her headphones for their call.  
  
“Okay, _fine,_ as much as I love our bedrooms,” Jan started, inspecting her nails as they spoke on the phone. Jackie was at the gym. Jan couldn’t understand why, she was more of a team player and the solitary nature of the gym didn’t appeal to her at all. Jackie said that was one of the things she liked about it. “We should go out.”

Jan heard Jackie come to a steady stop in whatever she was doing, and she clearly took a gulp of water before responding.

“Are you asking me on a date?” The smile was evident in Jackie’s voice. 

“Actually I’m asking you to get me out of this apartment, Jacks.” Jan’s voice was sickly sweet before it descended into a tone of sincerity. “Lemon’s crush on ‘Princess Priyanka’ has hit new levels. She keeps watching her on the kids channel, and the other day she pitched a fit because she told a bunch of kids that lemons are yellow. The girl needs an intervention, I _swear.”_

“She’s got it bad, huh?”

“She’s obsessed.”

Jan could tell that Jackie was walking now, making her way into more echoey areas as she excused herself with a soft parting promise that she would get thinking about where they could go. She looked up to see Lemon leaning against her doorway, face fresh from washing away the day’s makeup and wearing an animal print robe that Jan would bet $50 was Fenty.

“I heard you talking shit about me.”

“I heard you watching the kids’ channel again.”

Lemon’s jaw dropped slightly and no sound came out. She huffed indignantly and brushed a stray hair out of her face before clearing her throat, a gentle smirk coming to rest on her lips before she decided that she was ready to speak.

 _“Whatever._ When’s your date?” Lemon asked expectantly, confirming she had been eavesdropping for longer than just the moment her name was brought up. 

“Friday, why?” Jan’s brow furrowed curiously.

“Can I have the apartment?”

The penny dropped and Jan sat up quickly, slightly dizzied by the headrush she got. She threw her phone aside without a thought for where it could land, coming up onto her knees on the bed so that she could excitedly grin at her roommate. “You’re seeing Priyanka?”

“Yep,” Lemon made the ‘p’ pop, and she tossed her hair in a way that screamed _duh, of course I’m seeing Priyanka._ “Stupid bitch finally took her head out of her ass, remembered I was the best sex she’d ever had and asked me on a real date.” 

It was with the end of these words that Lemon’s cool and confident demeanour left the building and she quickly padded over to flop down onto Jan’s bed on her back, a huge smile on her face as she looked up at her. Jan took the opportunity to lay down with Lemon, mirroring her in deeper shades of pink and purple.

“Look at us, doll. Going on dates that aren’t shitty Tinder finds. We’re all grown up.” Jan bantered, poking Lemon in the side who recoiled with a small, ticklish sound.

“You think this is grown? We sat up and watched _Dance Moms_ until four this morning.” Lemon snickered, taking a handful of Jan’s fluffy blankets and pulling them over herself. 

She paused.

“If I’m not making bad choices on Tinder anymore, does that mean I’m out of my slut days?”

Jan was about to answer, say something teasing that would make Lemon sassily snap back or whine high in her throat in protest, but that never came. Instead, she dissolved into cackles at Lemon’s comment, seeking her out with her hand. Lemon had never been as crazy about physical affection as Jan was, but every now and then she allowed it, and in this moment she acquiesced to the linking of their fingers.

“Pizza tonight?” Jan mused once their giggles had slowed, and the sound of Rihanna could be heard flowing from Lemon’s room next door. She’d clearly left her door open.

Lemon released her hand so that she could sit up and nod with a content hum, blanket still loosely twisted around her.

“You got it, bitch.”

****

Jan had always liked the way golden hour could light you up, bringing an amber glow to your eyes and a warmth to your complexion. She liked to take photos at her window every now and then, and she enjoyed it, once joking that it was just nature’s own filter. She and Lemon were blessed by a balcony that had been used for far too many photoshoots when the sun started to go down.

She hadn’t thought much of that time of day beyond the aesthetics until now. Until she saw the way that the dimming sunlight danced happily off the apples of Jackie’s cheeks. 

They were at a rooftop bar downtown, underneath the quietly intimidating stare of the Empire State Building and quirky dangling light bulbs adorning the man-made garden that was lined with outdoor heaters. The waiters were quick and the tequila was rushing to Jan’s head even quicker as she snorted into her drink at the odd things Jackie said to her. 

They had come to the bar straight from work after clumsily changing in the toilets and chattering to each other from their respective cubicles about the fact they weren’t hungry enough for dinner just yet. So, drinks it would have to be. Jan emerged in a soft pink chiffon skirt that floated down to her shins to the sight of Jackie bent over slightly as she washed her hands at the sinks, and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t let her eyes linger on the sight of her ass in her culottes. When she had looked in the mirror, she was met with the sight of Jackie watching her knowingly.

Sitting there now in her casual button up shirt, Jackie looked overwhelmingly at ease. She was leant back in her chair and had done her best to muss her curls a little from the overwhelming neatness that the news channel always demanded. Now, around Jan, everything about Jackie seemed relaxed. It was a far cry from the woman she had flustered in the kitchen, but things had changed. Jan understood, feeling the same sense of ease from where she sat across the table from her. With her lips wrapped around her straw, Jan crumpled her brow in thought, and Jackie met her eye questioningly. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Jan didn’t even have to consider her answer.

“How easy this is.”

Jackie sat back in her seat, toying with the rim of her glass, and she looked like she was controlling herself before deciding to let out the peal of laughter that was clearly raring to escape. It was now Jan’s turn to raise a quizzical eyebrow, but she quickly realised that Jackie was laughing at _them_ and how long it took them to get here.

“Jan, before you say anything, I’m more than aware that it was very much my fault.” She said into her glass when Jan took a breath.

“I mean, _yeah,”_ Jan agreed easily, eyes twinkling with mischief that promised that her teasing was far from over, but then something within her decided to go back on it. “But then you fixed it.”

“So what you’re saying is, I did good?” Jackie mused. She was smiling, her voice laced with a teasing lilt. 

“Yes, _Jacqueline._ You did very good.”

One drink turned into two, and Jan made a face when she picked one that she _thought_ looked good but was dead wrong. The floral notes tasted like fucking soap and she begged Jackie to swap with her, utilising her puppy dog eyes and pout to the very best of her abilities. Jackie vehemently refused, but eventually gave a fond roll of her eyes and offered Jan a single sip through her straw to get rid of the soapy remnants on her tongue.

“Do _not_ drink it all.” She warned, huffing a laugh as Jan shot her an angelic smile and took a few more sips than promised. The dregs were all that was left, but Jan argued that it was still _something_ so she didn’t drink it all. 

Amongst the twinkles of the city and the garden, Jackie leaned in and made a quip about the obnoxious men shouting from a table across. It made Jan snort and throw her head back, and Jackie’s smirk was alive, her eyes were bright with it. They mocked them quietly, lamenting over having to deal with straight men at any point in their everyday lives. Jan couldn’t seem to ignore them after that, every slam against the table made her wince and the loud comments seemed to always interrupt whatever either of them had to say. It might not have been directly to them, but it felt intrusive and blaring enough to make their glasses shake and their eyes roll.

Jackie met her gaze and pursed her lips before she spoke.

“You wanna get out of here?”

 _She gets it. Thank god._

“You literally read my mind.”

They made quick work of paying the bill and getting out of there, escaping to the streets where Jan could take in Jackie’s face without the artificial glow of the fairy lights and heaters. She was now backlit by icy white streetlights that somehow didn’t affect the constant affection in her smile even if they were a counterpoint to her natural warmth.

It felt safe as they walked, fingers linked loosely together without a care, and it was here that Jan noticed how they were a little different. Jackie was comfortable with the quiet, and she used it to quietly observe Jan or those who passed them before passing hushed comments that would make them both laugh. She couldn’t seem to ever resist putting in her two cents. Jan, however, was less settled when it came to the quiet. She took in her surroundings with wide brown eyes in the dimming light of the evening, her own quips taking the shape of questions like:

“Pizza places are so cute, right? Or am I just Italian?”

Jackie would let out a bemused bark of laughter, shaking her head, and even if she didn’t let out a fond “Oh my god, _Jan”,_ Jan could feel the essence of it hanging in the air.

They ducked into a liquor store after rejecting every bar they passed. Jan would hum and shake her head every time, and Jackie seemed to agree. It was all so busy and Jan wasn’t quite past the point of wanting Jackie all to herself just yet. A shitty rosé was their poison - the type with a screw lid they wouldn’t have a chance to cork - and Jackie insisted on keeping it concealed in the paper bag as they passed it back and forth. 

Jan said that she had an idea, and by the way Jackie conceded, it seemed that she rather liked it when that happened. Jan’s mind might have been fogged with a couple of cocktails, but she knew that she was onto something when she led Jackie up the stairs at 30th Street up to The High Line, where the planted gardens and twilight views of the Hudson River stared back at them. Jackie clocked quickly, smiling in approval before taking a sip of wine and wiping away the drips it left behind on her chin. Jan always thought that The Highline was odd. It was a little pocket of man made nature force fed to downtown Manhattan, but now that she was standing drinking wine on the wooden decking with Jackie by the pink growths of firetail mountain fleece, she saw the point in it. 

They walked for a little while between the flowers that Jackie told her bloomed all year round. The chill of the evening was starting, and Jan shivered. Ever so observant, _of course,_ Jackie was immediately draping her jacket around Jan’s shoulders. She dismissed her flippantly when she attempted to argue that now Jackie would be the one to get cold. They settled on a wooden bench to finish their wine where Jan immediately took hold of the crook of Jackie’s elbow, resting her head on her shoulder. They could see New Jersey from here, and Jackie put on a god awful accent to ask if Jan felt at home. 

Whenever she did anything smooth like offer her jacket up for Jan to take, there was always a counterpoint to it, a reminder that actually Jackie was a complete nerd.

Jan decided to mock her, she wanted to coax peals of laughter from deep within Jackie's chest.

“ _Well._ On that note. This date’s been real great, gorg, but I’ve gotta go-”

Jan got what she wanted. Jackie threw her head back as she chortled and Jan liked how she put her whole body into it. She played with the rings that adorned Jackie’s fingers absentmindedly, admiring the gold against her skin tone, and when she looked up again she was met with soft lips against hers instead of a stare. Jan only pulled away with an “oh!” when she remembered something, just as the kiss was deepening, and Jackie raised an eyebrow while their faces remained close.

“This better be good.” She quipped, waiting for Jan to continue.

“I just remembered I have to stay with you tonight,” Jan began easily, already knowing she didn’t have to ask. “I promised Lem that she could have the apartment for her date.”

“What makes you think you’re invited?”

“ _Jackieee-”_ Jan dragged the final syllable for as long as she could before Jackie shut her up with a kiss that knocked the breath straight out of her lungs. Her tongue slid over Jan’s lower lip and she both hated and adored that this woman knew exactly what she was doing. She could feel the growing blush on her cheeks and knew that it wasn’t a result of the sudden evening cold snap. 

“Ready to go?” Jackie asked as she stood, and the way she was trying to appear irritatingly unphased felt like payback for all those times Jan had frustrated her with images of lace underwear cupping the soft plains of her skin. 

Jan knew that she deserved it, and she regretted absolutely nothing.

“Let’s go.”

****

  
It was like any other day as the clock ticked closer to six.

Monét was firmly - if a little impatiently - getting the crew into their places, shooting a friendly purse of the lips over to anyone ready and waiting. This included Jan, and of course Jackie and Chelsea. Chelsea was fiddling with the tiny microphone on her lapel, and Jan watched as Jackie chuckled and shook her head before helping her out with securing it properly. 

She faintly heard Chelsea thanking her, and saw Jackie’s happy nod in response as she settled back down and kept her eyes on the teleprompter until the time came to begin. Jan was patient and prepared, standing in her familiar position and smoothing down the lines of her pencil skirt when she knew her moment was coming.

Her eyes landed on Jackie, and Jan realised how this routine was something they did everyday in front of so many people. Other couples made breakfast together in a private pocket of 07:30am and that was theirs, but _this_ belonged to Jan and Jackie alone.

“And now for the weather with Jan who _still_ manages to brighten up our day even when she’s bringing us a colder turn of events.”

Jackie’s transitions were always fun and complimentary. She called Chelsea her partner in crime, said that Bob was sharp-tongued and commended Courtney on her enthusiasm no matter how many red carpets she did. 

For Jan, it was always about how she shone bright for those around her.

“Thank you, Jackie, and you’re totally right. It’s the turn of the season and it _is_ getting colder, but sometimes, change is what we need, right?”

Jan didn’t see the smile that grew on Jackie’s face as she continued on with her forecast, but she wished that she did.


End file.
